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Hi everyone, it's been a while since I posted, i took a break from all the self help groups. I have been Ok, slow progress, I was starting, to see a shard of light, then, bam, back she comes, 2 days shy of 6 months. She contacted me on whats app, haven't a clue how she managed that, maybe some of you phone boffins can clear that up, I changed my number.
In a word, it's been hideous, for all the accounts you read about 'love bombing' there was no sign of any compassion, just spite and  blame, I am afraid to say, I got sucked in again, but have come to my senses, and restarted no contact.
I think her motive, was revenge, for me changing my number, it's been a huge wake up call, the manipulation was awful.
If your ex makes contact, ignore, ignore, ignore.
I hope you are all doing well.

Hi there Pencil sketch,

How have you been keeping? Its good to see you're doing alright, and while progress maybe slow, every step forward counts. Keep it steady ya.


How are you feeling right now? having received, spite and blame. Are you in full no contact again at this point? Apart from that, have you taken any other steps to enforce no contact since you've mentioned that you've "restarted"?

Warmly,
Spero

Hi Spero, to be perfectly honest, I was absolutely flawed. I just didn't expect it. I did stupidly, try to get a reason for her return, and the answer was, 'it was mistake, and you can't blame me, you replied
Projection. We communicated for 4 days, and I knew I was getting nowhere. My pain comes from the fact, she can just breeze in and out, with no regard for my welfare, I was honest about my feelings, which she perceived me,  as me being, confrontational.
I have sent her one last message, asking for peace, and will stay string, and ignore any replies.
I am still reeling tbh.

Hey PS,

It's OK.  Backsliding is to be expected.  It seems like it has reinvigorated your commitment to moving on, which I view as a good thing.  It's onwards and upwards from here, my friend.  It's a great big world out there with plenty of kind, considerate people who don't suffer from BPD.

LJ

Hi Pencil Sketch

I did the exact same thing, except we met in the street and traded numbers. It was a similair time span after NC and I thought I had pretty much got over her - dont beat yourself up for it.

Like Lucky Jim said and how I feel about it now; you can view it as a positive experience that it happened and you learned how you felt about it - strengthen the resolve not to try again in future - whilst I feel certain that where I got to now, I would never in any way want to speak to her again - its posts like yours that reinforce it, so thanks for sharing what happened.

post relationship contact can be really difficult. nerves are raw. even after some time and space, one or both parties may have unresolved hurts. the other party is usually not in a good position to soothe them. but it plays out, as unfinished business.

if you do decide you want to be back in contact, if theres even a 5% chance, post on the Bettering board, get some guidance and feedback on how to approach it. dont wing it.

if not (either way really), there are still wounds that need your attention.