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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting => Topic started by: Chitchat on September 06, 2018, 08:02:31 PM



Title: « Lack of object constancy - the borderline and narcissistic trait that is...
Post by: Chitchat on September 06, 2018, 08:02:31 PM
... .never mentioned.»

Been trying hard a long time to get my head round the borderline narcissistic traits comorbidity. Struggling, but this
https://youtu.be/uunT2JV5EtM helped. Paste the above thread title in YouTube search if the link doesn't work.

In the first frame I swear the feet and shoes are hers.

The faces in the first frame are like hers in most of the photos I have of her, where she conceals her face (expression).

The music is about right for the sadness I feel.

Last frame : 'When people do leave, never to return, after a while it's as if they were never in their life. They have memories of experiences of people, but no emotional connection to the memories.'

I want to break no contact because the BPD wants to be friends, but fear the narc is in control.




Title: Re: « Lack of object constancy - the borderline and narcissistic trait that is...
Post by: once removed on September 06, 2018, 08:24:48 PM
this is obviously a complex situation. the last the two of you saw each other was a dv episode, fought since, and are in different countries.

its really important to get a nuanced understanding of what direction you want to try to take this in, dont wing it.

whats happened in the last week? are the two of you speaking? what led her from blocking to wanting to be friends? and are you still pursuing reporting her?



Title: Re: « Lack of object constancy - the borderline and narcissistic trait that is...
Post by: Chitchat on September 06, 2018, 09:21:29 PM
She wanted to be friends before the separation 3 months ago, and I said no. Here I'm just sharing my sadness, feeling I should reach out just as a friend but not yet.

(And sharing a possible insight into parallel extremes of dysregulation and calculation?)


Title: Re: « Lack of object constancy - the borderline and narcissistic trait that is...
Post by: once removed on September 06, 2018, 09:33:44 PM
have you changed your mind from wanting to report her to wanting to be friends? both?


Title: Re: « Lack of object constancy - the borderline and narcissistic trait that is...
Post by: Chitchat on September 06, 2018, 09:53:33 PM
To be honest, I had been hoping people would forget about that thread, now that it's been bumped off the board