BPDFamily.com

Am going to be vague, this is a big community.
More time has been given.
we met for coffee, he is in a r/s that he is allowing to fail, its crumbling, she keeps telling him they should break up etc, etc.  he gets no support around what he enjoys in life.  miserable.
I listened.  there was nothing to say or ask.

we did have an alright time together, he acknowleged me for always supporting things that are important to him, not checking up on him, not getting upset at texts, his phone use (constant),
not getting upset he notices other women... .
bad behaviour i put up w that most people dont. wont.
He said she is always angry.

We talked about our issues, x,y,z, and he sees that we are communicating to that... .we agree on the resolution.  That is huge! 

He says he has to work all the time, its detrimental.
I kept emotional control, and at 1 1/2 hrs, said i have to leave. 
He said he thinks about me alot. 
Am not going to answer questions about content
here.

want to give more space, be moving forward whatever that looks like.
He asked if we could talk more, on the phone, and will meet up again in one month.

am in a good space, shared what i needed to share.
With him, its like it takes about two weeks to digest information.
My overall take is he is in overwhelm, which causes chaos. Or vice versa.
Am just going to live my life, and see what my Higher Power has for me... .
and i got the message life isnt great for him, he misses me, he misses the support he received.

for me its stand back. 

 i am going to be safe, be emotionally well, reach out to my people who love me uncondionally, and truly live one day at a time.

Thank you everyone who has been here.  for those of us, all of us.

So you have given more time on the stuff at your house.  How long?

Did you get the vehicles sorted out?

How can we best support you?

FF

two weeks, am not giving the date.here.
yes.  not saying how or what.

I guess support around focusing on myself, and the things i can change.

am going to continue my path, self care, being around positive, loving people. 

He was clear he doesnt want to lose me.  Got up the nerve to ask if he loves her, he said no, no ,i dont love her.  Then he said, that took a lot of courage to ask that question... .

What happens in two weeks?

you have to read back on the other thread... .

so from that date, of that thread, its now a total of 2 1/2 months... .

am careful to not reveal to many personal details... .

oh... I'll look for the other thread.

I suppose I don't see the harm is saying he picks up his stuff in two weeks or we talk again in two weeks.

Do you believe you have been compromised on these boards and he or others that know you are reading your stuff on here?

FF

I dont know.

If someone who knows me or him, it wouldnt be good. 

maybe i have been watching too much csi.

mentally am prepared for this extra time, and have chosen to move forward, focusing on myself, the one person i can change

Yes, focusing on yourself as the only person you can change is the right attitude. 

So... what do YOU expect to happen in two weeks?  I get the sense there isn't an "agreement" per se.

Finding balance is important in life.  Yes... ."live and let live" is important, yet at the same time a life without expectations, honored agreements is chaotic, stressful and confusing (among other things).

How do you feel about the "balance" in your life?

FF

Details arent being shared here.

Am working on getting no expectations.
Expectations are a future resentment.
Its a lot of work, baby steps, am hard wired that something should go a certain way.  My way.
I am happier when i can get myself to that place, work on myself, that i dont have expectations.

Life becomes chaotic for me whenever i focus on what someone else is, or isnt doing. 

Suffice to say, i know (mostly) what will happen, i know my plans and actions.  am moving in the direction of having only my chosen obligations in
my space. 

I am so sorry Juju.  That's a tough place to be.

When you feel like sharing more about your expectations, we are ready to listen. 

FF

Thank you ff for your support.

The only expectations i can have are of myself, and to be gentle and kind to myself when i fall short.