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Title: Verbal abuse Post by: LearningHow on September 14, 2018, 07:13:22 AM Hi this is my first attempt at reaching out to others who are dealing with a loved one with BPD. I would like to know what i am experiencing with my daughter is common with this disorder. At the moment the verbal abuse is quite bad and I don’t know how to handle it well
Can anyone help me? Title: Re: Verbal abuse Post by: Harley Quinn on September 14, 2018, 07:58:42 AM Hi :hi:
Yes, you're in the right place for help and support. We have that in abundance here, along with some excellent information and Lessons (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=114267.0) to get your teeth into. If you look to the right of the page and also at the Tools (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?action=post;topic=329166.0;num_replies=0#) (tab on the top menu), that's a great place to start. The main thing that this place provides is somewhere to speak to others who can relate and are going through the same types of things, which is priceless. You'll get a lot of value in reading and joining other threads, as there is a wealth of experience here. I'm glad you found us. Can you tell us more about your daughter? How old is she and is she formally diagnosed? Any treatment? Verbal abuse is very tough to deal with, especially from someone we love and care for, and it can help to identify triggers or patterns in order to prepare ourselves and be ready with healthy responses (rather than reactions) whenever possible. No one gets it right every time, so don't beat yourself up. What sorts of situations are you experiencing at the moment and how do these play out for you? Things can and do get better. We're here for you through the immediate situation and beyond. Stay around - there is much to be learned here and you're in good company. I know other mothers will want to join with their own experience and advice. We were all new here once and can relate to what feelings can accompany being driven to seek support. I'm glad you reached out. Love and light x Title: Re: Verbal abuse Post by: bluek9 on September 14, 2018, 01:21:00 PM Welcome Learninghow,
I'm here to join Harley Quinn in telling yes you have found the right place. :hi: When I started 9 months ago I was ready to give up. I found this place by accident and have been here ever since. You are so right! The verbal abuse is so, so hard to take. It is absolutely devastating to a parents heart. And again yes, it is common with BPD. The best book I started with was I hate you, don't leave me. HQ is right when she says "things can and do get better". My D use to de-regulate daily, meltdown and verbally abuse me like you couldn't imagine. It's not like she got better in the last 9 months; it's more like I learned more, got smarter, started dealing with her in a new way. Her mental illness is never going to go away or get better, that's a fact. It's also a fact that there is much I can do to help her change and learn about herself. Of course that brings about a saying you will hear a lot here: baby steps, nothing changes over night. So glad you are here. |