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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting => Topic started by: SamwizeGamgee on September 19, 2018, 09:36:46 AM



Title: Odd connection to the Declaration of Independence
Post by: SamwizeGamgee on September 19, 2018, 09:36:46 AM
This might sound odd, as I wrestle with the if, why, how, and when for divorcing uBPDw; but I keep thinking of the American Declaration of Independence.
www.ushistory.org/declaration/document/

That's kind of where I am.  Phrases like: when it becomes necessary to dissolve the political bands,... .impelled to separation, ... .equal and inalienable rights, ... .securing safety and happiness, ... .long train of abuses... .
Admittedly, the King of England sounds like much more of a tyrant than my wife.  However, I'm reminded that some truths are self-evident.  I have a right to my feelings, my values, my boundaries, and at some point, I have to separate to be myself.
Interesting analogy I'm into now.
Just thought I'd share something that is a good boost to us survivors.


Title: Re: Odd connection to the Declaration of Independence
Post by: Lucky Jim on September 19, 2018, 12:13:38 PM
Hey Sam,

Yes, you have a right to your feelings, values and boundaries. 

The Declaration also provides that we are entitled to "Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness," concepts that can often get obscured in a BPD r/s.

Some truths are self-evident.  Suggest you stand up for your truth.

LuckyJim


Title: Re: Odd connection to the Declaration of Independence
Post by: SamwizeGamgee on September 19, 2018, 12:57:17 PM
I'm an easy sell for early American patriotism!
I am just impressed that the Declaration of Independence, of all things, is hitting a chord with my abuse recovery efforts
If I was a history teacher, this would be billable hours ;)


Title: Re: Odd connection to the Declaration of Independence
Post by: Lucky Jim on September 19, 2018, 01:21:05 PM
Let's not forget the Civil War, when Admiral David Farragut ordered, "Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead!"

I like this quote in the context of BPD because, needles to say, detaching involves a lot of torpedoes, i.e., potential reasons to turn back.

LJ



Title: Re: Odd connection to the Declaration of Independence
Post by: SamwizeGamgee on September 19, 2018, 01:44:14 PM
As I think about it, it's one thing to declare independence -- and a whole other to declare war. 
I am a little scared of the war to follow.  But, damn those torpedoes, it's coming to war.


Title: Re: Odd connection to the Declaration of Independence
Post by: AskingWhy on September 19, 2018, 02:28:07 PM
Samwize, it's interesting to see you not the connection of freedom and respect in a relationship to the Declaration.

People deserve civility among themselves and not tyranny in a relationship.

pwBPD live their lives of "it's all about me."  It's sad, but they are essentially toddlers or teen in way they conduct themselves.  We need strong boundaries to make sure they don't trample the nons in their lives.





Title: Re: Odd connection to the Declaration of Independence
Post by: Cat Familiar on September 20, 2018, 09:07:27 AM
After years of living under oppression, it's easy to forget our rights. And once you get that taste of freedom back, you will never want to surrender it again.


Title: Re: Odd connection to the Declaration of Independence
Post by: formflier on September 20, 2018, 09:15:38 AM
  you will never want to surrender it again.

That's a big part of my thinking.  There are several boundaries I have "erected" in my life to "contain" BPD crazy... .and I simply can't imagine ever lowing those boundaries and "letting crazy in  again".

Good thread... .good analogy. 

FF



Title: Re: Odd connection to the Declaration of Independence
Post by: Lucky Jim on September 20, 2018, 10:38:19 AM
Excerpt
After years of living under oppression, it's easy to forget our rights. And once you get that taste of freedom back, you will never want to surrender it again.

Nicely said, Cat Familiar.  I'm with you, AskingWhy, that tyranny has no place in a respectful relationship.  I was once a doormat; now I say, "Don't Tread on Me"!

LJ