BPDFamily.com

She left awhile ago. It was a 10 month thing. She found a new guy. I think she has many BPD symptoms but is high functioning maybe not quite BPD. Anyway, I'm very sad. She wanted to be friends and I did that but didn't want to hear about her new relationship. She forced some superficial details on me via text message today. I told her how much I lived her and gave her a chance to come back that she probably wouldn't take. I needed to try to be a courageous me but I had low hopes.

Now, I'm gonna try 2 move forward without much contact, which she is ok with, and continue to see the therapist. And not date right now.

That's my plan. I can still work (sleep may be hard) but I think I'll be ok. Any suggestions are welcome.

She sent me a pic of her with her new boyfriend, it helped me get over "denial" but im not sure how I feel about that. Gives me a path to move forward though.

im sorry youre going through so much right now 

You did the right thing by not staying friends, as this will prolong the hurt.

in time things do get better. its going to take a while so dont rush it. do you have friends or any hobbies you can dive into?

We might stay friends; but I need to heal in my own time first. I'm not getting much sleep tonight but I am getting some which is a good sign. Maybe the worst is over.

How are you coping and healing? What are some things that you are doing for yourself? Are you talking to a therapist by any chance? If not I would encourage you to speak to one as many members here have found solace and peace

I have almost no support network but I have seen a therapist once a week for the last three weeks. I hope to feel better as time goes by. In the meantime I can't sleep ( agitated) do I'm watching "the office" in the morning I will seim and go to work as usual except I may leave the cell phone in the car all day so I don't check it impulsively or obsessively or get tempted to text or call.

ive been in your shoes before. constantly refreshing their social media, or looking at old texts. Its normal to go what youre going through. its all a process to grieve and move on. dont shy from the feelings but let it flow.

I love the office! Comedy is the best remedy in times of despair.

Do you have friends you can spend time with? Do you go to a gym? The best time for self improvement, believe it or not is right after a breakup. What hobbies do you like? The reason i ask all these, is because I also couldnt sleep. I was up all night replaying scenarios and memories in my head. I became obsessed with my ex and seperation anxiety was killing me. I couldnt function.

I took that energy over time and focused it in other areas of my life.

I've been pretty much where you are. She told me way more than I needed to know about the new relationship and it was very very painful. I was isolated too, and found that reaching out to family and seeing a therapist saved me. It takes time and what you are going through is completely normal. The worst part for me was not getting the closure, and getting my hopes up even in the face of growing evidence that she simply is not well and she needs to get help before she can be in any relationship. For me I need to be whole again and heal as well before I can be in a relationship.

I hope you get better, take it one day at a time and if you can watch tv and do just about anything to keep your mind busy, see friends or family, an minimize interacting with her, then time can help to heal. Also if you imagine what you were like before you met her, and what you want your life to be like in the future, how it's different and how you've grown, that could help too.

Stay strong and know you're not alone.