BPDFamily.com

 I have been with my husband for 4 years, married 1 year.  Throughout the relationship he has shown signs of BPD, anger, paranoia, distrust, splitting.  At the beginning of September he hacked into my device and this led to another BPD episode.  It was the last straw for me, I could no longer live like this (we are a blended family with 2 kids each).  I couldn't for my health, and my kids well being stay married to this person.  The episodes really are abuse, and I had finally realized that.  As a christian, I struggled with the abused being enough to get a divorce.  About 3 weeks after the episode, my husband was diagnosed with BPD.  Now I wonder, do I stay and try to salvage the relationship, or be done.

*welcome*

We are sorry to hear of the difficulties you are facing, but are glad you are here.  Here you will find people who understand, who have been in situations similar to yours.  This is a good place to get support and learn coping tools.  Take a look at the "Tools" menu up above, and at the links in the right sidebar.  One of the strengths of the message board is to talk through with us about current situations you are trying to improve and apply the tools to.

Many members arrive here after a long period of difficulty, but just after receiving news of BPD.  It's hard to know what you've got or what the outlook is until you start applying the tools.  They aren't miraculous, but allow us to reduce the conflict in most cases and get some breathing room to calmly assess things.  My advice would be to start learning and making things better, and push off any decisions for a while.  If you end up staying, it will be in a healthy a manner as possible.  If you end up leaving, you will know you've respected the marriage and done your best for it.

Does your device have a secure passcode now?  Is it safe from intrusion?  Can you give us some more detail on situations that concern you the most?

RC