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My now ex girlfriend has cut me out of her life. I love her so much and wanted to help her and support her but she's finished with me. The relationship was turbulent for the last 6 months and has been marked by her pushing me away regularly and ignoring me for days at a time. The arguments would start over what I saw as small trivial matters. I would ask her a question and she would get so angry and shout, call me names and then ignore me days often telling me it was over. The most recent argument she became violent and scratched and kicked me. I haven't seen her for over a week. She told me she didn't want me last Friday and has said there is nothing more to talk about yesterday. I tried to block her but she did message me via text saying she loved me. She didn't make any attempt to go back on her decision. I feel so traumatised by this relationship. I know its not good for me but I feel a real connection to her and wantes to help her. She says she is no good in relationships and is better when she is on her own. I just feel so discarded and sad. I'm sad that she could not work through issues, I'm sad that she has treated me like this and I'm sad that she has gone. Will she come back or is it likely that she will cut me off forever. She has regularly bad mouthed me to her friends and split me black. She also seems so cold and detached when she has ended things and this has been the case previously when she has said its over. I'm just struggling to get my head round this. Should I just move on, am I wasting my time? I'm so confused

hi Des23,

i hear the pain youre going through right now. im glad you reached out.

how long have the two of you been together? was her texting you to say she loved you the last time the two of you spoke?

No, the last time she communicated was last night. She sent me two texts saying she has always loved me and and it breaks her heart to think that I don't realise that. I received a text from her mum yesterday saying that maybe we aren't compatible or maybe it was wrong timing and that it's for the best that we end as the relationship is making her ill. I didn't respond to the texts. I'm just so confused about how this ended and how I've been made out again to be the bad guy when really I haven't done a great deal wrong when I think about it.

if you want to rekindle the relationship, its probably best to respond (not to her mom). not responding may send a message that youre done and want to be left alone.

do you want to do respond?

It sounds toxic and abusive and horrible her mom is getting involved. I think you need to protect yrself at this time and care for yourself because I know how hard it is to be split black and talked about to others with no way to defend yourself. This has been the story of my life from a BPD Mom and Future BPD MIL. She will not change.