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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup => Topic started by: Perplexed5185 on October 20, 2018, 08:47:32 PM



Title: Is this normal?
Post by: Perplexed5185 on October 20, 2018, 08:47:32 PM
I realize this is a strange situation and any input would be appreciated.
Almost a year ago, a guy I had a very minor history with in high school contacted me.
We started chatting and it became more "flirty" over time. The intensity was up and down, but over the course of the year, we had spoken for hours and hours and hours and debated meeting in person, etc. We never did actually meet, although it was clear there was a connection between us. I had suspected he suffered from BPD for quite some time, and he half-assed confirmed it at one point.
Anyway over the summer, things got particularly heated one night and a few days after that he abruptly blocked me on text message. No explanation whatsoever. I was confused to say the least... .Fast forward 2 months (Now mid-Sept) and he texts me a bunch of apologies and basically says he wants more, etc and starts talking about getting me pregnant. At first, obviously I was really pissed off, but I chalked it up to his illness and we started speaking again. Although, I heavily implied that if he ever pulled that again, it would be the end of it.
Last week, he had become increasingly non responsive again, although I was not blocked. Of course, I thought disaster had struck and I became somewhat nervous. I called him from a friends phone and when he heard my voice he hung up right away. I texted him immediately saying "dont ever text/call me again."
No contact since then.

I'm a little shocked at his behavior and not really sure how to proceed- if at all. Is this typical with BPD? Is it just always this cycle over and over? Is there even a point to reaching out again? I had hoped we could at least be friends. TIA.


Title: Re: Is this normal?
Post by: Euler2718 on October 20, 2018, 09:27:55 PM
I don't know how to help you. It does seem they change directions a lot. One good thing, you don't seem super involved at this point, so if you lose the connection, it won't be huge suffering.

You can look around on the site to see the symptoms of BPD, that might help. My BPD is high functioning but did pull away (not by blocking, though she threatened that once).

But here's something: you said if he pulls away again ", forget about it", are you still having that boundary? If so, I understand of course -- we all want to feel "safe" -- the ghosting thing us the OPPOSITE of safe for you (or anyone who makes a real connection).