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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup => Topic started by: bobs45 on October 22, 2018, 07:23:42 PM



Title: I've been married to a person with BPD for 48 years and am desperately lonely
Post by: bobs45 on October 22, 2018, 07:23:42 PM
Hi all.  I've been married to a BPD for 48 years.  I have three wonderful children and 9 grandchildren.  For some reason the stress of this has been killing me for the last year.  She won't acknowledge any issue.  I am desperately lonely and crave the gentle connection to anormal woman.  I won't leave or abandon my wife. So I am in what I think is an intractable situation.  Any advice?

Thank you.


Title: Re: advice?
Post by: once removed on October 22, 2018, 07:42:38 PM
hi bob45 and *welcome*

48 years is a long time. i do not doubt your investment, or your love. your circumstances (intractable situation) are ones that many here can relate to, understand, and appreciate. and things can get better. there is hope.

what happened in the last year? what are the issues as you see them, that she wont acknowledge?


Title: Re: I've been married to a person with BPD for 48 years and am desperately lonely
Post by: Radcliff on October 23, 2018, 11:51:25 PM
Let me join once removed in welcoming you!  Congratulations on raising three children and on the grandchildren.

I'll join once removed in his question about your last year, but also extend that to ask about the rest of the relationship.  Were things steady before that?  Up and down?  Declining over the years, or with key events?

bpdfamily is an excellent community in which to learn coping tools to make your life better.  With as much experience as you have, I bet we can learn a few things from you, but I also bet there's a lot of worthwhile learning and support for you here.  I came here 23 years into my marriage this community has been life changing.

RC