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Title: How can I reverse this on going saga Post by: Shamrit on November 08, 2018, 03:48:30 PM This is my first ever post, so be mindful of that. pwBPD recently decised secratively move out without warning and continue to come by the house to fatch her belonging while I am not there. Yet she would continue talking with me via text, Phone or email. Also if I ask her to meet me, she would and act as if verything is as usual. I am not sure what to make of this. Every time we would part each others company we would hug/kiss, when i tell her love she would repond by saying love you too. Some weeks has passed that the status quo hasnt changed, except she is now stonewalling me... .wont repond to my text, yet meet me few hours later to go see a house and when we leave each other i would get a hug and a kiss. I dont know what to make of it. Need help in understanding this behaviour. Last night I took her some sweets to her appartment and where we set and talked for over an hour. she would tell me all that is going on with work, her daughter (also grand kidds) and so. she asked me about my work family and everything at large. she also mentioned that her mother asked if she could give her phone number to this new guy at her Church and she said. Yet feel like she is in this mode of dicarding me. Just last week we went to dinner with my cousins visiting me from LA. At dinner she pronanced to them she loves me... .and yet I am stonewalled.
I have more to share but lets just start with this and see where we land! Thank you for taking the time to chame in Title: Re: How can I reverse this on going saga Post by: Radcliff on November 08, 2018, 07:15:56 PM *welcome*
Welcome to bpdfamily! You've found a supportive community where members understand the challenges of living with BPD in their relationships. The mixed signals that your pwBPD are sending are common, and are experienced by many of our members. Can you tell us a little about your relationship? How long have you been together? How old are each of you? Have you had any difficulties before her most recent behavior? RC Title: Re: How can I reverse this on going saga Post by: Shamrit on November 08, 2018, 09:57:15 PM RC:
Thank you for your prompt response... . I am 55 years old and pwBPD is 51and we have been in relationship for 3 years out of which we lived together for a year which ended just two months ago. So today’s stonewall situation was I sent a text this morning wishing her well to which I didn’t get a response at all... .instead I met up with her two hours later to see this house that I am trying to buy for her as I don’t want her to stay in an apartment. So to my surprise I get a text at 5:30 asking me if I would join her for a movie to that I replied I would. At movie she said that her day started way earler and was very busy ... .so I feel like I was being my own worst enemy I suppose. When we left the movie we as usual hug and kissed So let me leave it at this... .hope this at bit of clarity Title: Re: How can I reverse this on going saga Post by: Radcliff on November 08, 2018, 11:51:44 PM Are you helping her to find and evaluate a house, or are intending to pay for the house for her?
Have you tried to talk to her directly about the relationship and whether she wants to stay in a relationship with you? Have you asked her why she moved out? RC Title: Re: How can I reverse this on going saga Post by: Shamrit on November 09, 2018, 06:10:53 AM We would buy it toagthet.
Here is the rub... .I have asked her why she moved out and her answer is all over the place, initially it for few reason: one she feel like I side of the family does not like her second we owned vacation home together up in the mountain. Long story short she wound aprove of my side of the family use it while her daughter was staying just last summer. That generated an argument. She didn’t like what said to her so she took her personal effects the week her daughter went back to college. Same week she moved also. Sorry l am long winded |