BPDFamily.com

Hi.  It is that time of year when a lot of people, especially those of us with more difficult FOO relationships, really struggle. 

I know it is still a bit early but I also know it is easy to put things off until last minute.  So my thoughts are to come up with some strategies to help us cope so we don't get thrown off with the holidays.  Whether you get together with family, or like me, usually spend them alone, what can you do?

What I used to do when my parents were still alive and I attended gatherings, I would brush up on my understanding of projection (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=70931.0) and use visualization and self talk to get me through. 

So I would say things like "remember, when she says berates you, she is really talking about herself" and other things that may sound trite but really helped me like "you've got this" rather than "i can't do this" or "I'm so nervous".  Yes, talking to myself helped me immensely.    What really made the difference was what I said to myself.  So focusing on fact (what I knew about projection) and that I had new skills and had some healing under my belt this time around made a big difference.

Okay so lets see what else we can all come up with and share.

I'm trying to get into jogging everyday and when I move and its cooler out long random walks alone at night in nice neighborhoods with decorations help. Now I have a dog so I plan on walking different places with her lots. I think I'm skipping any large family events but in the past I would just go out for a long walk or treat myself to an extra book and coffee. Books kinda make me feel safe, maybe because they pull me into my own world.

Exercise is a great way to stay in a good mindset.  Endorphins and all that (not that I would know... .jogging is against my body type!).  Do you feel better after jogging?  Does it clear your mind?