BPDFamily.com

Hi I thought to write a little post following my breakup last week with my uBPDW.  I moved out of our home.

I did have a really difficult week to begin with, searching for answers, trying to understand.  But in the last day or so I have become more accepting.  I do wish my xwife understood things beter though.

The only contact she made out to me, until today was “where is the Christmas tree adaptor plug”.  This surprised me somewhat – who exactly contacted me?  (its all undiagnosed mainly (apart from ptsd) but I believe BPD is possibly the main thing we have been battling against and quite possibly DID too – but who knows)

Had another text today demanding the phone numbers of (the painter, plumber, electrician…………) I’m planning to still fund her and our house (bills and mortgage) but not indefinitely, I guess I will need initiate the divorce soon as to be honest we have little money and the mortgaged house is our only real asset.

I have felt a few glimmers of sun in my life, few glimmers of hope for life after the past 9 years of uBPD marriage.  I am thinking of visiting my fav places next year, maybe a holiday to the Med – doesn’t need cost much, put it on the credit card!

Good morning Ruskin!

Sounds like you are doing alright, that’s good to hear!

The Mediterranean sounds wonderful, I’ve been through there, but it was on a warship ; )

We made ports of call in Naples Italy and Cartagena Spain on the way back across... .on our last “cruise”,

Divorce attorney?... .sorry to hear that Brother... .but you are not alone, my own uBPDw informed me yesterday morning that she “doesn’t see the point”’... .and that we should just end it and proceed with a divorce... .here in North Carolina USA, that takes a year of separation firstly before the petition can go to a judge... .

She is in fact moving out on Sunday whilst me and my Son are at Church services... .

Hey now Ruskin!... .you have a great day and keep posting... .  I too believe that we are all due many glimmers of bright and warm sunshine in our futures !

Cheers! And Safe Travels Ruskin!

Red5

Cheers for your reply Red5

Hmm you are well-travelled, interesting career no doubt too.

I’ve been reading of how things have progressed for you, so fast...   But ultimately looks like a change for the better, no doubt painful after all these years though.

Another glimmer of hope and sunshine I have kind of felt, is the hope for a more meaningful relationship one day.  I will certainly not rush into anything, likely leave it a few years, but looks like I will have my final chance for love and a good friend in a partner – maybe yes, maybe no –who know if I will be lucky.

I’ll be careful to get to know the person better before rushing into anything…  Amazing I am thinking like this, I guess it means I have probably detatched from my W in some way, probably through the years of abuse….

Weekend apon us soon

All the best
Ruskin

Sounds like an awesome vacation. You're doing well, progressing to the stage of acceptance. Removing the blinders from our eyes and truly seeing what's before us, definitely helps us transit through healing. It's not easy and don't worry about temporary setbacks and longing for what never was.

Cat