BPDFamily.com

Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: MeandThee29 on December 24, 2018, 09:25:17 PM



Title: No more nastiness
Post by: MeandThee29 on December 24, 2018, 09:25:17 PM
I'm just done. I'm still financially dependent, so I have to be decent and agreeable mostly.

There was some drama that cost me $165 in a month where I already had a lot of expenses. Not something I budgeted for, but I got it covered with early Christmas gifts. Not what I wanted to spend it on, but it's handled.

Then a lovey card of the sort people who actually live in the same house send and a check. Really? As if he hasn't jabbed me and threatened me on an ongoing basis over the last year. Why would I brush all of that aside like it never happened. I guess in his mind it didn't happen.

I dunno. The whole thing is just so messy. But I'm not engaging him in any meaningful way. I'll send him a note of thank you, but keep up the wall at the same time.

And maybe, just maybe I'll be able to be financially independent in 2019. That would make everything better. But I got through 2018.


Title: Re: No more nastiness
Post by: JNChell on December 25, 2018, 06:37:51 AM
Hey there, M&T29. Merry Christmas. Sounds like you’re pretty fired up. What happened here?


Title: Re: No more nastiness
Post by: MeandThee29 on December 25, 2018, 07:13:13 AM
Really just normal stuff, JNChell. Stick it to me and expect me to be completely accepting. It's all part of the contempt he feels towards me.

I'm better today. Thanks.


Title: Re: No more nastiness
Post by: JNChell on December 25, 2018, 07:22:00 AM
Merry Christmas, M&T29.

You don’t own the contempt that he is dumping on you. That negativity is his. You can absorb it or let fall right off you as it should. There’s still some connection there and I get it.

If he decides to work on his behavior, he will. Continue to be mindful. You’ve been a strong presence on the boards. Basically, you rock!

Returning to the tools, how can you shake the anger that you’re feeling? It’s not your’s to own.