BPDFamily.com

Hey everyone, I'm from NYC currently living in LA. I'm pursuing my dream of being an artist. I was going to therapy a few months ago to get over a painful breakup. The therapist eventually asked about my family. I didn't know what to say. I can't stand being around them. Specifically, my mom's crazy behavior (erratic mood swings, endless illogical unrelated questions, abusive rage explosions) and the way my dad always tried to brush it over.

Over the next month and a half to two, we did more and more work until a few days ago when I felt a terrible depression. I had the feeling that I had grown up with something wrong. I visited the therapist yesterday who finally broke it to me. My mom was showing the signs of someone with Borderline Personality Disorder. Moreover, she has engaged in repeated emotional abuse to me and my dad. I grew up in an abusive household. I'm still trying to make sense of it. Of all of this. I'm ready to do whatever it takes to move forward in a positive and healthy way. I'm ready to find a better way of dealing with all of this. I hope to learn and converse with all of you, perhaps pass on my own experiences, and accept my mom's BPD with serenity.

Welcome that is big news to make sense of this is a very safe place to explore what that means for you.

Hello and welcome!  I am glad you found us and posted.  I think you will find the support and understanding you need after finding out the potential diagnosis for your mom.  We also have Tools and articles you can use to help you work through your recovery.
 The Survivor's Guide (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=331826.0) is a great source to work with as is the Survivor to Thriver Manual : The transformative journey from victim, to survivor, to thriver (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=331826.0)

Well, you are in the right place to achieve your goal.  All of us are working together on healing and support each other.  Some of us are also in therapy.  I found that reading and participating on this board helped me in ways therapy did not especially with understanding I am not alone in my experiences.  Also, posting to others helped me get out of my own situation and see possible solutions and connections I was not able to make on my own.

Again, welcome!

Hello pbot! I I know this can be overwhelming and confusing. I can definitely relate to you. I thought my aunt just had anger/ character problems until my best friend said that it sounds like BPD. Realization can be hard and sudden but know that the more you learn the more things will  make sense... all the  rage, erratic mood swings etc you will realize that you couldn’t rationalize things because they were not coming from a rational place. Overtime it will become easier to accept and Working with therapist and learning  healthy coping strategies and prioritizing your life is the best choice you can make.
Do you keep in frequent contact with your parents now ?

Hey there, pbot. I hope the weather in LA is nice. It’s snowing like crazy where I’m at. After reading your post, a saying comes to mind that was coined by a wise parrot. “All boards lead to PSI” (parent, sibling, inlaw).

It sounds like you have a solid therapist and that’s a good thing to stick with along with this forum. The two work together quite well. I see a trauma specialist and she has been priceless. She has taken me down the path back to my childhood and is helping me to relate childhood trauma to my adulthood. It’s a slow process, but it’s working. I’m growing.

I’m sorry that you had to grow up with an abusive mother and an enabling father. The more that you read and interact here, the more you’ll find people that have that in common with you. It’s really something to feel so alone about things and then find a place like this where everyone understands and gets it.

You’re still taking in what your T (therapist) told you. That’s perfectly fine. This is a marathon, not a sprint. The positive that I can see is that you now have a focal point to work from. You’ve been given information and are proactively working with it. That can be life changing, although not necessarily easy.

You’ve found a good place, pbot. We hope you stick around.

Hi Pbot,
Welcome to these boards. I completely understand where you are at. Coming to the emotional realization that my childhood was more abusive than the norm was a very difficult process for me. It sounds like you are doing some really great things: following your dream of becoming an artist and living in LA. So congratulations on making those brave moves, and also on looking into healing yourself. These boards were a huge help for me because it's difficult to find people who really understand us in the real world, and it seems that there are many patterns that repeat themselves in families with a BPD parent. So welcome and I encourage you to continue reading and posting.