BPDFamily.com

Hi all,

Does anyone know if there's a correlation between high and low functioning BPD and the chances of recovery or having a productive relationship?
In other words, would you have better luck with a high functioning pwBPD in order to work together?

High functioning generally means less severe.  Many of our members partners are subclinical, they wouldn't qualify for a diagnosis. They have BPD tendencies.

BPD tendencies are a handful, none-the-less, and it takes structure and strong emotionally mature person to weather the storms and not add to the the relationship struggles.

Thanks
True, she has BPD tendencies.
And although she is exceptional at her job, she is also more sure of herself and in her beliefs, some of which seem to stem from BPD type thinking.
So it doesn't affect her day to day, but is so strong willed when it comes to me.

First off, recovery means more often than not "can you deal with it". Like, after an outburst do they reach out again to work it out, if during it you can remove yourself to avoid escalation, if after you can get back to baseline without "too much" disruption (no breakups, no cheating, no self harm, etc)

Its like diabetes, you know the daily shots, the nerve/circulation checks, the diet restrictions, the low sugar symptoms. You don't "cure it", you manage it correctly, and that's what this is probably about.

So probably yes, I think awareness without disruption would make for a better understanding of what you both want out of the relationship, and less extreme episodes could allow more chances to work through the crises.

But you still have to put in the work.
Good luck!

Thanks Snap
I guess I get confused when I read about "recovered" borderline ppl.

Remember that a personality is only "disordered" if it does cause problems, if not its just a personality type; the traits remain, but they don't wreck their lives or those around them.

Recovery means going from "definitely disruptive" to "quirky but manageable"   passing through everything in between.

Here's an article I found that goes a bit more in depth into the details of what "recovery" means (its "clinical" so it may not be the easiest read) [https://www.borderlinepersonalitydisorder.org/apa-meeting-discussions-surround-the-proposed-dsm-v-for-personality-disorders-read-what-allan-frances-writes/ (https://www.borderlinepersonalitydisorder.org/apa-meeting-discussions-surround-the-proposed-dsm-v-for-personality-disorders-read-what-allan-frances-writes/)]

Thanks for that link. I was just looking at the site and found several Marsha Linehan BPD videos. They seem to be quite good:

https://www.borderlinepersonalitydisorder.org/consumer-recovery-resources/ (https://www.borderlinepersonalitydisorder.org/consumer-recovery-resources/)

thank you