BPDFamily.com

I wish that people wouldn't post like this is some psych forum where all readers are therapists who understand all these different acronyms. I think it would be helpful to use the full term at least the initial time, then the acronym any subsequent time in the post. I have no idea what C-PTSD is (I know the PTSD, but the C is evading me), FOO is a mystery, etc.

I understand Crushedagain, I had the same problem when I first started on these boards. It was like alphabet soup of psychology bingo buzzwords reoccurring. You will steadily get the hang of it.

Hey there, crushedagain. Like Cromwell, I was also a little confused by what everything meant when I got here. It took me some time reading and getting involved here to start picking up on the lingo and abbreviations. There’s no handbook or thesaurus...  

Is it this thread in particular that has you frustrated? Or has it been your general experience here?

The C in C-PTSD stands for Complex. This is what separates it from PTSD. It’s complex because the trauma has happened over an extended period of time. In many cases, many years. The survivors of this wear their trauma in layers. In order to heal, each layer must be dealt with one at a time. That’s the complexity of C-PTSD.

FOO is Family of Origin. crushed, these acronyms and abbreviations are implemented here and they work for the community. That isn’t going to change.

To be quite frank, what you read on the forum is not even close to what you might read when in comes panel studies and the like. Nobody here is trying to be a clinician. We’re here to heal and in doing so we try to gravitate towards the core of this community. If that means learning the language, so be it.

This place is special, crushed. You’ve been a great contributor to this community. How can we help you in return?

How to get to the point where the person feels any shame is the sticking point, if getting to shame is the precursor to wishing to change behaviour.

Getting to that point is hard because the tendency is toward a toxic shame that is overwhelming and brings out all the unproductive coping mechanisms. The balance is not an easy one to find, even for licensed mental health professionals.

As long as the emotional manipulation works, as it historically has done, why bother changing - it has became a ritualised and habitualised pattern of behaviour that is hard wired in. What others class as emotonal manipulation/undesirable behaviour (being subjected to it) - my ex probably doesnt choose to view it the same way. She gave me the impression that in her world view, everyone was like this so it was validated that she would do it - first - and be better at doing so.

When a person has been steeped in a group of people who are manipulative, it does seem pretty normal. My h grew up in a family with a controlling, abusive father and a submissive mother. He is very drawn to controlling men to tell him what to do, and he was in a church environment under a controlling, abusive pastor. They would be telling him that he needed to control me better, and he tried. Eventually, the pastor was removed due to his abuse.

As far as my healing from the PTSD, one of the things that my parents did to help was to move to a location where I wasn't being triggered on a regular basis - they also were empathetic and gentle with me when I would have these feelings that I couldn't control. I thought a lot about that as I was deciding what steps that I took in the past several years. A big part of it was getting out of the unhealthy environment and finding a healthier one.

I am not frustrated, JNChell, I was just being honest about the difficulties of reading around here sometimes. I don't think I can add much to what I already said as it was fairly straightforward and concise. I don't want to hijack this thread, I just thought I would mention that. I read far more than I post around here. I don't really have as much insight, etc. to offer as most of you people.

crushed, hijack the thread. Granted. You have a lot to offer this place. It gets wordy around here. Don’t be intimidated by that. Just hang out and learn what it is. We want you here. This place is about experience and growth, not words. What do you think?

I worked for this guy for a while years ago. He turned out to be a narcissistic  :cursing:. I hope you enjoy the song, crushed.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Qt-La11LLow (https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Qt-La11LLow)

Thanks for speaking up Crushed. I don't think anyone means to come across as an expert. The acronyms are mainly because writing out these commonly used phrases each time gets long. Easier to say FOO than family of origin. I didn't know all the "words' either at first, but just ask and you will get used to them. Feel free to post when you want to.

I agree. Too much jargon and too many abbreviations make reading harder, not easier. And it makes it harder for newbies who are looking to find their place and fit in.

(here is the abbreviation glossary https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=319252 )

There are some other helpful things if you hit help in the menu bar (see #2 for location):

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(https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/images/mb/messageboard_toolbar_top.png) (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/images/mb/messageboard_toolbar_top.png) Click to enlarge (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/images/mb/messageboard_toolbar_top.png)

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=26601.msg427962#msg427962

This probably won't go down too well, but seeing as people are talking about hijacking threads.
Why do people keep changing peoples post titles?
I read a post and then it gets changed to a different name, it's infuriating.
I can't be the only person to notice this?
The author of the post titles it the way they seem fit, so I think it's wrong to change it, and make people lose track of the thread.

Sorry I have a lot on my mind but I think I have a valid point.

To keep newbies from being ignored. To increase participation. 

We have studied it. Its a lot of work. We are very selective in our changes.

Title changes bring participation to newbie threads that have been ignored. Title changes, on average, bring in 400 to 600% more responses than the original titles.

Most members learn from the changes and adopt better titling skills.

And I agree, there is a nuisance factor.

Thanks for the input.