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I’ve been thinking about the idea of God more and more lately. I’ve touched on the subject here and have gotten some great feedback that I don’t have a solid response for right now. I’ve never read the Bible. Religion was forced on me as a kid by a father that I couldn’t respect or follow.

Midnight Mass has come to mind tonight. It seemed kind of magical and more ceremonial than a typical mass. It was Christmas Eve. The church was only lit with candles and the priest walked up and down the aisles blessing everyone with insense. I remember it vividly. It was relaxing. Calmer times (days) within the household.

The RC church that I attended was beautiful inside. The depiction of Jesus on his cross was big and detailed. I haven’t thought about this stuff for a while. There was a certain kind of calm with the midnight masses. I remember not feeling any worry. Honestly, the service was tranquil and mesmerizing.

I detached from the idea of God as I matured. The more I detached, the deeper I went into things that I regret today.

I have regrets. I wish that I would’ve placed more emphasis on my own well being. I didn’t know how. I wasn’t confident enough in myself to search myself. I relied on outside influences to tell me who I am. Screeching halt! That never worked.

For those of you that believe or don’t... .

Hey JNChell, I remember I owe you a couple of “writs”... .my PM has been out of commission for a few weeks, when I can get back onto a desktop and off this iPhone... .I will respond as you requested a while back,

I will tell you, as I’ve aged... .I’ve come to many different ideas obout religion... .I have come to much prefer the term “Faith”, .this universe we live in is a vast, unending... .and a very mysterious “construction”, completely perfect and balanced in its real time and virtual existence... .

I promise I’ll deliver as requested my friend !

My eyes won’t allow too much thumb typing on this damn iPhone : )

Red5

I agree. The universe doesn’t have an end. There’s a lot more out there.

I could say a lot more about that, but opinions are knotholes.

I’ll go this far. Ideas and energy. :cursing:it. I’m posting it. The Universe isn’t our solar system. It’s vast.

Our ‘galaxy’ is but a single grain of sand on a never ending pristine beach... .

Why did old ford sedans and candy bars just pop into my head  !

Seriously... .I don’t think energy is ever destroyed or created... .I think it is a ‘constant’... .like ‘awearness’.

A question, then I got to take off these supermarket readers and do the dishes... .“where do we really go when we dream”... .are we dreaming now?

Red5

Hi JNChell and Red. 

I too was raised Catholic though I do not practice religion today.  At one point I was very involved in another denomination and I found God there and was close to him.  It was a different sounding God than the one introduced to me by my mother and the RCC but I have strayed. 

A couple weeks ago I told a friend that I miss my faith.  Things had purpose and sense, there was meaning there.  I am not sure if I miss that or if it is God I miss now... .and I am not sure there is a difference.
When I think of God, I fill up with tears though and I can feel a longing.  The closeness was nice as was the love and that was back when I though I was the evil thing my mother told me I was. 

Anyway, just sharing and saying yes, I remember midnight mass.  It was peaceful and so beautiful  I think all churches are.  They are built on love and hope faith and belief.  All the good stuff.

Okay, carry on with the universe discussion.  Right now I am focused on my own planet.   

Hey everyone   :hi:

I appreciate how this sucks.    I had a lot of the same too. I still highly encourage you not to let whoever introduced God to you (and how they did it) get in the way of your getting to know Him more.

It's a bit of a bum deal because if that's been the case for some of us, then we end up associating God and church with a lot of crumby feelings. For me, when I think back to my FOO and church, I think of suffering, penance, twisted discipline, unilateral rights, hypocrisy.

I was reading this week a bit of what Notwendy wrote about her history some years ago--she brought up generational awareness and expectations of parents--and I do think she's right on in there being generational differences. There's also that thing of "you can only give what you received" when it comes to considering my own parents' situations. So I'm skipping past that to the juicy bits (for me), which are the results; to me, one of the results I would have liked to see my parents work on was "to what extent have you encouraged a good relationship with God in your child's life?" I think keeping an eye on the ends is important when understanding the means. If they couldn't do it, that doesn't mean we can't write the book of our own life with God, or help our kids to write theirs.

I appreciate a bit of what this is like. I found that when I grew distant from God, a lot of things that I wanted did occur (I still prayed), but life seemed to be much more difficult.

I know people who behave more like Christians than people who've claimed to have read the bible.

James 1:22-24NIV
Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.

I think it helps not be cowed by people who attack the bible or claim to "know it all". I find when I come across such people, it's quite easy to disengage because there's a lot more humble people with whom time is better spent.

Quite an interesting verse from James because an issue with some pwBPD's is object impermanence, which is akin to not being able to remember one's own image in the mirror.

I think the good news is that you're conscious of this. A thought that scares me here is to imagine going through life following everyone but the bible. Not from the view of salvation, but more for practicality. The perk about the bible is that a lot of the wisdom seems to be highly applicable and concise.

I've been trying to block my calendar for the last few months to visit church groups. Thankfully there's a lot of followers of my church in my town so I can be that picky person if I want. Maybe we could individually look at joining a group each, in April?   

… one of my favorite books in the New Testament,

Romans 12:2,
And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

Red5

Hi you all. I have S4 tonight. I’ll post again soon. Most likely this weekend when there is some real time to do so. Thanks so much for talking about this.