BPDFamily.com

After years of mental and emotional abuse, I got tired of the threats one night and called the police. Without going into too much detail he has a lot of legal issues already, so when he saw the number he tackled me to the ground and tried to take or break my phone. This happened twice before he finally left and I hid in a room until the police arrived. The whole altercation is recorded through the dispatcher call. After listening to the call the assigned detective chose to press charges with the prosecutor.

For our ex parte hearing the first time it got continued because at the last minute he coerced his mom into paying for (another) lawyer. This time it got continued because HIS lawyer supoeaned the call and seemed to suggest it went against my claims. The continuance was issued so my lawyer could review it before it was played to the court.

I'm just so confused in general. What he wants out the ex parte if he doesnt want to see me and if he knows he cant successfully keep the baby alone. It just seems like he would do anything to get to the point where he can publicly humiliate me or make false accusations. I'm so tired of taking off work for this... .idk I just want to know theres a light at the end of this tunnel

I'm so sorry your circumstances caused you to reach out to us.  This is so hard, many of us have been in your shoes (been there, done that) whether needing to get a needed protection order or facing unsubstantiated allegations.

You mentioned a baby.  How old?

Under this existing ex parte order, is the baby in your care and father doesn't have unsupervised visitation?

Generally an ex parte order is to set preliminary boundaries and rules until a hearing can be scheduled for both sides to tell their stories.  Also, some professionals may be required to provide input.  Your spouse may be required to get a basic psych eval.  (A psych eval does not provide definitive recommendations on custody or parenting, it's just a surface overview, a more in-depth eval is called a Custody Evaluation which may be ordered later.)  Usually it is within a few weeks.  If you and the baby are currently safe, then there probably shouldn't be distress for another continuance.  Right?

Maybe he trying to delay the outcome?  (Delays are a typical weapon many disordered people use to intimidate us and wear us out.)  Whatever happens, however much time it takes, yes, there is light at the end of the tunnel.  My story:  We separated when I called police reporting Threat of DV.  The case was started in municipal court - I got a protection order against her - and when she got out she went to domestic relations (family) court to get back at me and started her own protection order.  She tried to include our preschooler but CPS reported to the court they had "no concerns" about me and so he was excluded.  Our mutual protection orders kept getting continued for almost 4 months until they were ended.

Are you realizing the relationship has no future?  If you are married, are you going to divorce?  Generally when the level of conflict has reached the legal claims of adversaries in court, there's little hope of repairing the marriage.  Frankly, court doesn't even try to fix the misbehaving spouse.  Maybe, just maybe, you can get an order for Anger Management classes but expect little else.  Court just deals with the people as they are, you would do well to do the same.  Sorry, but that's the reality most of us faced.