BPDFamily.com

 Hello, all!

I need help. I recognize that I need to vent to let my anger, but I don’t have any ways really right now. The only ones I can think of involve screaming and breaking glass in some kind of careful way; but I can only picture these things ending in the concern of others (valid), and possibly maybe being arrested or something. I basically  have zero ideas, so please help me with all you’ve got as soon as possible. I feel like I need to take care of this right away for my own well-being. Thank you!

I know of a girl who was abused by her boyfriend, she took fitness, olympic weightlifting and horseback riding to get in shape, she recently started going to the range but I think that's just for show  she's the sweetest person ever.

Or do like my grandpa used to say: "dig a hole, then fill it again. If you're still angry/frustrated/bored/whatever, you dig another hole"

The idea is to be productive with your anger. Anger is our brain's way to motivate us to do something that makes you feel strong and in control, to fend off threats to our well being.

Breaking glass is a loud and clear signal of such ability to cause harm back (that concern you mention others having over it).

Activism is another one: you support a cause you believe in, feel the power to change things and feel connected to a wider group who has your back as well.

Or if that's not "real" enough, try a contact sport 

You are wise to avoid breaking glass and the like, smart move to share here.

There are sound proof room that you can scream into, I've seen large companies offer them as stress relief for staff. Together with punch bags with their bosses faces on (a Japanese idea). If you google "stress relief" there are things like that around. Spars or massarges etc... .I know you may need something strong right now, but avoiding stress helps you avoid triggers and  therefore anger.

Also vigorous exercise, with or without the help of the internet. I would go for a jog and exhaustion would normally overtake my anger.

Or roasting. Comedy is an excellent way of puncturing anger. You can't laugh and be angry. I put a toy Bugs Bunny (don't ask) on a chair and come up with the most venomous jokes I could about whatever it was that upset me, half the time I ended up laughing at a joke or how pathetic I sounded either way the anger passed. My T said there's a similar technique, without using humour, call Gestalt, where you imagine the thing in the chair is the person you're angry with. So you BPD mum, it gives you an chance to speak you mind, possibly the only chance the isn't cut short by your BPD. This also helps with radical acceptance. My T said you need a T to do that effectively, but in truth I just spoke the chair as if it were my mum and felt a whole lot better. As if I'd finally been heard, because Bugs Bunny didn't invalidate what I'd just said (shouted).

I hope that helps and if not don't hit me, at least not the face. Wishing you peace eventually. I was very angry , its part of the healing process. Now I'm very placide, it passes. I'm sure you'll get there.   We all lose something when healing here, we lose hope of every having a normal mum, and that loss creates grief. Anger is one of the stages of grief (comes after denial). So the positive here, is you must be healing. Ask as many questions as you want on here. What is triggering your anger the most of late ?  

i like creative writing. or just writing.

i can be vicious, or i can be cutting and clever, its a release, and it makes something click in a way that just having conscious thoughts doesnt. and it doesnt hurt a soul.

I’m glad that it means I’m healing. Feels pretty crappy though

Hi allnighter.

One thing that helped me when I wanted to destroy things (more with rage than anger) was to throw ice cubes, outside against a tree or a wall.  No one gets hurt and seeing something shatter was a release sometimes.  Not sure if that will work for you or if you can find the privacy for it.  I had a baseball bat and would pound it against my bed.  Releasing to the point of exhaustion usually brought me to the point where I could cry it out too.  If you have an old phone book, trying to tear a lot of pages can help.   

Once I got my anger down to more workable levels, self talk helped me the most.  Telling myself it is okay to be angry, that it is a normal response to crazy stuff that happened and that I would find a way to work with it in productive ways.  This is when writing helped me the most. 

Make up a story that revolves around a particular incident you are angry about and re-write the ending so you end up in a better position and one with power over yourself.

I LOVE these! Will try the ice cubes today!