BPDFamily.com

Hello again!

I could really use as many creative, fun, enjoyable, not impulsive or self-destructive, effective ways to raise my self-esteem and take part in the joys of life. I’m tempted to do irrational things that are permanent, such as piercings or tattoos or dying my hair, or spending buttloads of money. I am in need of some really effective, healthy ways of reclaiming myself, and my independence. List everything you’ve got. Thank you!

Hi Allnighter,  :hi:

If you're physically able, I would recommend taking up a sport.
Pick something you enjoy doing. Something that relaxes you or that makes you feel empty afterwards (in a healthy way => good for anger management!) .
Take it slowly. Don't rush into it and suddenly start doing 5 days a week, because that won't last.
Learn to prioritise time especially for that activity and try to keep to your commitment.
Don't give up if you fail to go once or twice. That does not mean failure.

You could do this with any hobby or activity really. If you choose a sport, you will feel physical progress after a few weeks. This is empowering and will also give you a mental boost.

I picked up swimming again after several years of no sport. I am fighting hard to commit to 2 days a week. Every time I go, I try to either extend the number of non-stop laps, or to quicken the pace. After 2 months, I feel stronger, both physically and mentally. I am also proud that I have managed to keep to my commitment and to prioritize this time for myself, even though it still makes me feel selfish at times.

You are important. Your body and mind deserve to be taken care of.
You are also an adult, it is therefore up to you to give that care to yourself.
Don't listen to that inner critic and give youself the TLC you need. 

Libra.

Libra,

Thank you so much for your wonderful suggestions! I’m considering karate, and dance, and painting along to Bob ross, most of all right now  your ideas are very helpful guidelines for helping me choose what to focus on.

It has helped me to find some things that cause me some anxiety... .I should say irrational anxiety (usually it's social groups/parties but can be anything... .going somewhere new or whatever) and push through the fear and go do it anyway.  It helps with the anxiety and self confidence.

 :caution: I want to note that sometimes anxiety/fear is very rational so don't do anything crazy   No Car Surfing, jumping off the roof of your house, or eatting the raw chicken that's been sitting out on the counter for a week   

I spent a year working on social anxiety, I started by going to lunch with one friend I know really well at a place I knew.  Then I went out with more people (happy hour) at another place I've been to before.  I began to add new locations and the spouses of my friends until finally I found myself at a party of 80 people where I only knew one person.  Yes, these situations can still make me nervous but I know I can do it (and enjoy it!) because I've done it before. I have more confidence.

I'm a crafter and that is where I can find my bliss, when making something I'm in the "now", no ruminating on the past or worrying about the future just in the "now" with my creativity.  Love your idea of painting with Bob Ross!

Panda39

Thanks for sharing! That’s some awesome exposure therapy. I too love to craft :DDD that’s one of the nice things my uBPD mom made sure to foster in me the best she could.