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I’m feeling pretty down lately, but calm. I’m hoping to keep this on the back boards. I understand if it shows up on the front boards. Facing this stuff is a real pain in the  :cursing:. I don’t think that I’ve centered myself yet. I wouldn’t be reacting to these feelings if I had. I miss S4’s mom. I miss S4. It just doesn’t seem right to go a week without a man seeing his Son. It is what it is..

I remember laying in bed with her when he was just a baby. I remember feeling him through her belly. His feet and hands. She knew which ones he was pushing with.

I sang to him while he was in there. I laid my head on her belly to listen. To feel him. 

Her bday is a couple days away. She gave me permission to have S4 on her bday weekend because she is going out of town. WTH is that. She’s going out of town with her latest bf.

Is this really how it is.? A momm and dad that can’t get

Mutual, anything?

I'm so sorry you're struggling right now, it sounds like you're really grieving what could have been. I sometimes experience that with my failed marriage, even though it's been over 20 years! It's sad when a relationship fails, no matter the reason, it's ok to be sad.

 

~ Barb

Amen brother

"reacting", to me, would probably be more of the "bad coping habits" variety (drinks, recklessness, anger/fights, whatever).

I think reaching out is the "centered" thing to do when feelings like that start boiling over.

A positive!

Stay strong JNChell

I agree! Wise words, here.

~ Barb

Yes, there's healthy reacting and unhealthy reacting. It's perfectly natural for you to feel this way -- painful as it is. Reaching out to your support system for help is the healthy, centered way to cope and I hope you keep doing it.

It's OK to hurt. It's Ok to feel sad. It's OK to struggle.  Just hold onto the love you have for your son and be there for him in whatever way you can.

Take all the extra time you can get,  no matter what she does.  That's between you and your son.  Embrace it.

Thank you for the kind words, Barb. You’re still feeling the affects 20 years later. I get it and you obviously have the heart of a lion. It’s the whole family thing, ya know? I get really depressed about that. I should spend time with my son everyday. As it is, every other weekend and every Tuesday night. I hate being away from my boy.

-Joe

Thanks, Snap. Reaching out has been pretty foreign to me. It’s easier to do here with folks like you.

Ozzie, I’ve got him as long as I’m alive. Thank you for your words. They mean a lot and I appreciate them.

Turkish, I take every hour that I can get.

How are you today JNChell?