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Have you seen our Safety First! (https://bpdfamily.com/pdfs/safety_first.pdf) plan?

I am always curious how many of us have read through the pdf.  I just went through it again and wanted to mention it here.  The title is Safety First! Suicidal Ideation Safety Plan (https://bpdfamily.com/pdfs/safety_first.pdf) but it is not just to determine if you are suicidal (though that is certainly addressed).   There is some really good information in there.

It is also a tool that we can use too see where we are currently in our emotional health as well as assessing certain stressors in our lives and how they may affect our efforts to recover. 

I wanted to mention it here as a sort of safety net for all of us.  We do stress self care and I like the proactive way this document addresses some of these issues.

Check it out. 

I've read it many times.  

When my mom lived with us for about 4 months,  she got in my face twice: once the first night and she called me a liar, the second time near when she left, waving her calendar in my face and threatening me with a lawyer. I was cooking her food at the time.  Turkish The Puppy briefly went through my mind (where she would start smacking me in frustration),  but the adult wolf realized he was at risk for DV and Elder Abuse charges. I talked her down.  I saw her pupils dilate while in my face.  That freaked me out.  It also made me sad,  and I realized grandma living with me and her grandkids wasn't going to work out.  

As my therapist said,  me being very conflicted and filled with guilt,  "you're a home,  not a hospital,  and your mother needs a hospital."

Keep yourselves safe. Adult Protective Services is no joke.  

CPS is there for minors and APS is there for the elderly.  No one is there for the in-between. If you're at risk,  you need a safety plan.  

Such a good read. Thanks for reminding us. I can't believe how different my responses are from today and from years ago. Worth reviewing even if you've read it before.

Thanks to both of you for posting! 

I hope more people read through it.  The article is actually based on the Survivor to Thriver Manual : The transformative journey from victim, to survivor, to thriver (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=331826.0) which is another excellent read and discusses the Survivors guide steps in more detail. 

Hope2727, it feels like ages since I have seen you.  How have you been?

Hi Harri,

I'm holding up. I am super busy trying to finish my masters degree, complete my internship, work enough hours to pay the bills, and chip away at my reno in my new home. So life is a tad chaotic at the moment. I still come here more than I like to admit to remind myself that it wasn't only the good memories I  tend to recall. I need my "booster shots" to remember how bad it actually was and how much danger I was truly in. One of the best parts of my new awesome, all be it totally run down home, is he has no idea where i live now. I think I slept through the night for the first time in years once I finally got moved in. Safety first is not only a critical read it is a way of life after a relationship involving abuse and personal peril. So read the thread people. Believe it can happen to you. It can happen to anyone. Better safe than dead and never let anyone call you paranoid. You have just developed effective warning mechanisms to protect yourself.

Hugs all.

Hi Hope.  Life sounds busy but exciting!

I am glad you are finally able to sleep well after everything you have been through.   

When I sat and thought about your comment that safety is a life style change it made me want to cheer you on but I felt sadness too.  It speaks to a loss of ... something... not innocence per say I can't think of the right word.

Here's to peace for you and yours.