BPDFamily.com

Part 1 of this thread is here:  https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=334424.0;all


I have been still really struggling with everything that's going on. She still comes in and sits next to me and doesn't speak to me, and I don't really understand why she would do that. I think she views the seat as 'hers' and thinks I should move? I don't know. I don't think I will sit in that part of the room anymore. I had thought that we would 'go back to normal' but she is only becoming more distant.

She doesn't speak to me at university, and is suddenly very chatty with everyone else in the class. I messaged her on the way home, asking her if she wanted to hang out the next day - she didn't respond. I was simply trying to be 'normal' with her, and, as she'd said we could 'start again' I presumed this was OK to do so. She didn't respond. A few hours later I just sent a short message, asking her where things were at because she'd said we could start again, and I'd really like to be friends, and that it would good to start moving forwards - she hasn't responded to that, either.

I don't intend to contact her again. I found and am finding this hard because if I'm honest I did believe she would cycle back around but she only appears to be becoming more and more distant, and I think and feel as if perhaps this is for real, now. And I'm actually quite distraught over that.

Uni is about to break up for the summer which means I won't see her at all for a good few months, and that's upsetting. I'd hoped things would be rectified by then. But it doesn't look like they will be.

I find that I’m starting to feel quite anxious about this being ‘over’ and that it doesn’t look like she’ll really engage with me. I haven’t contacted her again, but I’m repeatedly thinking about all of this, and I’m finding it so difficult to know what to do.

I don't mean to be persistent, but is there anyone here who may see similarities in this situation with their own, or who could maybe provide some input?

Hi,  it is hard when you dont get any response from them, it will make you anxious because you just want to keep the conversation going or started again. She cannot do that right now. She can sit near you but thats at close as she can get, right now. Right now, im afraid, is what you will have to accept. It is hard to accept when we want something else, right now. Did that make sense?

For you, right now, you have to take one day at a time, look after yourself, feel and try to deal with the feelings you have. It will get easier and you will feel stronger. What usually helps me is to keep busy doing what i like to do for myself, or doing something completely new and challenging. It keeps your mind busy and gives you some good feelings back of achievement.

You need to be mentally strong for whatever happens in the future, especially if your gf contacts you. You say that the summer holidays from uni are due, that may be hard emotionally but that may give you both some space from each other to look after yourselves.

I hope that helps a little. Maybe others will be along to help somemore.