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So, I'm invited to a work reunion from 20 years ago - pretty cool and I was going to go with my partner but its on a night when we have the kids and her mom's birthday - and it wasn't really feasible for her to get a sitter starting at 9pm.  She generally doesn't do that.

She keeps saying I should go alone, after the family dinner.  I know she means it and really doesn't want me to miss it.  BUT - I also feel a storm brewing and know how it will make her feel if I go.
I made the decision not to go.  I made it myself, she didn't tell me not to.
I hope I made the right decision...

Do you think you will regret it?

Did you already inform her about your decision?
If so, how did she react?
 

Do you think you are making the decision not to go to preemptively protect her feelings about it (or how you perceive she will feel)?

How do you feel about missing your 20 year reunion?

Redeemed

So - I didn't go.  I feel okay about it, I did it to keep the peace and protect how I know she will feel.

I do feel okay about it.  I know I should never do things that I will later regret or feel resentful about.
Things are going relatively well right now. 
I know I should set boundaries but I'm maybe not ready right now?

I told her, she encouraged me to to, she said she didn't want me to regret it. 
But this happens every day with work.  She says its okay to work a full day and she knows it's what I need, but when it happens, she's angry.

I know she was very grateful last night that I didn't go.  She understood I did it for her.

What would happen if you expressed exactly how you felt and your decision process?
Maybe a compromise of checking in periodically and promising to leave at a certain time?