BPDFamily.com

Hey all,

So, I'm on day 43 of no contact ever since he gave me the silent treatment. I'll admit I was checking up on him and his ex on social media to see if they got back together in the first 30 days, because I guess I needed a "sign" of some sort. But, he reactivated his Facebook late Saturday night, and he came up on my suggested friends feed on Sunday, and it was a profile photo of him sitting by the Cliffs of Moher in Ireland. It was a trip that the two of them took together. His cover photo and profile picture were both once of him in London - it was a trip that him and I took together in November. His cover photo is now of Rothenberg, Germany, where he went in 2017 and she "liked" it. Clearly, all the BS about him getting psychiatric help and figuring things out didn't come to fruition yet, and she has planted herself firmly in his life. I felt triggered and for my own sanity, I blocked him on Facebook and Instagram. I took him off as a contact on WhatsApp and deleted the app altogether - this was all done on Sunday night.

By Monday night after work, curiosity killed the cat, and I downloaded WhatsApp, went through the effort of re-adding him as a contact to see if he's been on. His Last Seen is no longer there. Therefore, he deleted my phone number. I didn't break down in tears or anything, I just re-deleted the app.

I'm sad because after 43 days, no apology, nothing, just radio silence, and all he did was ask my friend about a month ago if I was okay, and now he deleted my #. He clearly knew I blocked him on social media and took his # off, and then he proceeded to do the same back to me. Does a person with BPD do this to also move on?Like a final nail in the coffin, or did he do it out of spite? I know I'm not supposed to care, but again, I'm still in the healing process. 

i suspect he didnt see a lot of point in keeping your number if he knew you had blocked him.

what were you looking for a sign of?

Well, the weird thing is, now he's playing the game of remove and re-add.

what, if anything, do you want to do about that?

Nothing, except flush out all of my feelings and hopefully break free of this addiction of checking up on him on social media to see if he got back together with his ex. But whether he did or not shouldn't matter, because he isn't in my life, so logically, why should I really care right? I have no intention of reaching out to him - my problem is that I have a hard time with the whole injustice issue here where the guy abused, manipulated, betrayed, and lied to me, using me as a rebound for a year and discarding me once the mask came off. I'm upset because he hasn't shown remorse for any of the damage he caused, and I'm left here as a broken person having to pick up all of the pieces, and I have PTSD from the incidents that led to the break up, because even if a male friend is physically too close to me now, I start to panic. And he just doesn't even care. I wonder how a person is capable of being so cruel, but that's just this world.

i dont know about should or shouldnt. the fact of the matter is you do care...you had a relationship with this person, and youre mourning the loss. if he had died, you wouldnt tell yourself to flush your feelings or that you shouldnt care, right?

checking up on him is another matter though. i struggled with that too. there werent really any tips or tricks for me; like any habit, one just has to stop, when theyre ready.