BPDFamily.com

I made several actual flash cards on colored index cards and keep them handy for if I need to talk to a BPD relative on the phone. I get very triggered when interacting w/them so these help a lot.

You can take a photo of some and keep on your phone for emergencies!

Here are some that I wrote in bold sharpie:

YOU DIDN'T CAUSE IT. YOU CAN'T CURE IT

F fear O obligation G guilt  I CAN STAND IT.

VALIDATE THE VALID

BREATHE

I Don't Owe Anyone Any Explanations.

AcknowlegeFeelings--Not-- Disordered Thoughts.


So, I wonder what short thought you would write on one of your cards?

Hi sparrow!  Thanks for flying in and visiting us!

Good idea!  I would write: 

I can end this call at any time.

No is a valid response.
It is also a complete sentence.

This is about them, they can't even see me right now (if they are dysregulated and being nasty)

I had a friend who kept a timer nearby when she was on the phone with her mom.  She had the noise to signal something was done cooking, or someone was at the door, etc.   

Hi Harri,

I love the timer idea!

Hey  Sparrowfarfromhome,

This is a great idea. I like those. I’d have:

Don’t rise to it.

S.E.T.

And a picture of her Royal Highness the Queen (that’s mandatory in the UK).

The queen...haha

I love these flash card ideas so much! I like that it gives me a structured and proactive way to think about the FOG manipulations I have encountered (and thus can expect to encounter again in the future), and to provide thoughtful and consistent responses.

I like the audible timer idea, too, Harri!

I can picture a gif of the queen with her saying "We are not amused Mr. HappyC".

I don't have to hop on the ride...