BPDFamily.com

I was on this a few years ago . living with my pbd covert narcissistic mother until I recover from medical stuff. I logically know the issues. The only thing that works is staying away from her as much as I can.Avoiding her but being "pleasant' when I happen to see her in the house and not taking her bait when she tries to pick a fight to release the tension she has built inside herself.
the issue is that sometimes when I walk in the house, I forget she has BPD, and I say something pleasant and she responds so horribly . I never know when this will happen and I get caught emotionally unprepared. The 'little' comments she says really gets to me, triggers me etc.  I don't want it to. It is not worth it.

I must say though, that I used to feel horrible for much longer but still, I don't want to react to ANYTHING she says...does anyone understand what I am talking about? does this happen to anyone? how do you deal with it? with their subtle criticisms and devaluing. ( The devaluing is really what gets to me.)

Hi diega :hi:

Welcome back

It would be great if we could find a way to not react to the negativity at all. Yet in the end, we still remain human beings and being verbally and emotionally abused remains an unpleasant experience, especially when it comes from our own mother.

So you currently are living with your BPD mom, that is difficult. You are recovering from medical issues. How is your mother dealing with your medical issues? Does she provide you any kind of help?

What kind of things does your mother say to you that you find particularly difficult to deal with and even triggering? In what ways does she try to devalue you?

The Board Parrot

Yes. We understand. It took me weeks to listen to voicemails from my mom. Just the tone of voice was a trigger.

What would you like to do to improve your situation with your mother.