BPDFamily.com

How do you deal with your teenage daughter's promiscuity?

Hi there! One thing I was convinced to do by the doctor was to get her on LABC-long acting birth control. I also bought her condoms. This provided some relief (to me).  If your daughter struggles w/BPD -type symptoms, promiscuity is a very coming poor coping skill. Scary as heck and so very destructive. My husband sees it more as a choice and he can be very hurtful in his communication with her bc it simply tears him up inside. I see it the exact same as I would a heavy substance abuser-another poor coping skill that is addictive. I assume that if we believe this is a symptom of BPD, then the evidence points to DBT as the appropriate therapy. The promiscuity continues here, but the BC makes it a bit less painful to me.

Thanks PeaceMom...

She is on the BC pill... I get up at 5:45 every morning to give it to her. I wanted to get her on a LABC...but her Dr said she was too young, and myDD 16 refused anything but the pill.   .  Hopefully that will change sometime in the near future.

My husband has similar views as yours, but luckily does not say anything hurtful around her.   I do view it as a symptom, however it is so difficult to see how destructive this is to her - emotionally, socially.   

I have seen a few texts where she has said she gets called a slut and a whore often at school and it hurts (she doesn't say that to us).  Her core group of friends since elementary school (nice kids, involved in the school, community) really do not have much to do with her anymore.  She doesn't get invited to social events - and I know that has to bother her - but she pretends it doesn't.   It seems like a vicious cycle...she makes bad choices, her friends don't want to be with her, she makes more bad choices..

It is just so very painful to watch and feel helpless

That was our same scenario. We’ve lived in same suburb for 22 yrs and all 4 kids went to same schools with same friends. My DD started HS very strong as a cheerleader, gymnast involved heavily in church and a national volunteer organization, an equestrian, too. By late sophomore yr things really began to fall apart. At Christmas her Jr yr we decided she couldn’t go back to her regular school so she went to the Alternative school and did online program. She did graduate a yr early but that was not a good thing at all.  She is sharing with me lately that she was sexually assaulted at age 14.  Everyone always asks this question as it oftentimes leads to the BPD symptoms. Unfortunately, she lies so often that it’s hard to know what to believe.  Her sweet friend group pushed her out many years ago bc her behavior and self absorption was toxic. Sad stuff!