Title: Sometimes writing helps... a poem (?) Post by: KP17 on May 26, 2019, 02:36:35 PM The Drum
In the beginning we each carry a drum Filled to the brim with what we bring Our plans and gifts inside like treasures Jostled with our faults and pains We approach each other with our arms wrapped tightly Around our chosen load Then we walk together some ways And piece by piece we carefully select A trinket to share Sometimes what is pulled out is broken And we quickly shove it back Saving those pieces only for ourselves To examine in the dark Though some of us carry faulty drums Bottomless and empty but for what is borrowed From those with whom we walk I have lent my things Carefully at first, placing each back Into its place inside After being carefully examined and turned over by other hands Then as the road grew long And the borrowing increased I began to notice missing things And looked back to see them smashed along the road More resolutely then, I collected back what was mine Sharing only when the emptiness alongside Seemed safe and welcoming Later still and many things had gone Except the largest and most clearly mine My empty-drummed companion demanding to see each Then smashing what was good And laughing at the broken Until I turned over my drum and emptied it So that nothing more could break And nothing more could be shamed Now two empty drums walk together For a short time in peace and partnership In having such a lack When suddenly I notice I am walking alone And look back to see the bottomless drum Pointing another way “Why is yours so empty?” they demand And ask to look inside Helplessly I show my drum And what little dust is left So they begin to walk again Demanding to know How such a broken person can exist With not a trinket nor treasure to show Such damning evidence of fault I shrug and continue walking Alongside, empty, broken Without a voice or answer Title: Re: Sometimes writing helps... a poem (?) Post by: itsmeSnap on May 28, 2019, 04:02:12 AM Hey KP17
Its a nice way to share a story, the focus on the context and not the details is something that really caught my attention from your post. Excerpt I have lent my things Interesting angle, "lending" instead of giving. Like a limited resource, you would need that back at some point.Why not create something valuable that can be freely and safely given away? Like a ticket to a concert, people don't "buy" the band or the stage, just the experience, and the tiny paper ticker, though easily produced and simple to give out, is as valuable as the "real thing". If they smash that (the ticket), the show can still go on without them Excerpt Until I turned over my drum and emptied it could there be another way to go about this "So that nothing more could break, and nothing more could be shamed"? |