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Our adult BPD daughter uses marijuana (prior history of alcoholism too).  It seems to make her episodes worse.  She lives with us and has a baby. If we ask her to stop using, she threatens to move into a battered women’s shelter. We are terrified.

Hello bethelove :hi:

Welcome to  bpdfamily!

Can you share a little more about what happens when your daughter uses marijuana? What are the behaviors you are seeing and how are they worse after using?

Has your daughter been in an abusive relationship?

I understand the terror that comes with worrying about a grandchild - my DD26 and her 4.5-year-old son (GS4.5) have lived with me since April 2018 - I get it totally.

Welcome again, you have found a very supportive place on the internet to lay your burden down.

~ OH

Thanks for replying.  The marijuana use seems to make her nonfunctional, erratic, and more paranoid. She is also still nursing an infant. If we tell her our concerns, she threatens to go to a women’s shelter.  Our family lineage has a lot of borderline on both sides.  She wasn’t abused but had we more understanding/sensitivity as parents, we could have done better.  She says she was molested as a teenager by an older man.  Currently, there is no abuse that I can see but she threatens to tell the authorities there is when she gets upset with her husband.  It’s used as a blackmail sort of thing and only when she is in a rage.  When she comes to her senses, she apologizes for lying.

Our daughter used marijuana last year along with hallucinogenics. It literally changed her personality...she was always "strong willed" and explosive, but by mid year after regular weed usage she was highly irrational, always on her nerves, paranoid and full of hate speech towards us. We understand now that using weed was the latest way for her to self medicate as she was in emotional pain.

She was soon driving under the influence, running away to her weed smoking friends and we knew we had to step in. In our country we have a process called a Section 8 where you can get the court to issue a non criminal warrant to force someone into rehab if they are a danger to themselves or others. We actioned this and she spent 3 months in a Christian based rehab.

After about 6 weeks, we noticed she was "returning" to herself. She seemed to be in a rational clear mind.

She has been home now for 9 weeks and she knows that the warrant is still in force should she use again.

It is our experience that despite all the good publicity that marijuana gets, the THC really does not go well with a BPD mind. I have not considered allowing her to use CBD oil like some recommend for her anxiety, it still contains traces of THC.

It is very difficult when your adult child lives in your home and has a drug dependency. And you have a grand child to consider as well. Have you done any reading or watching on how to have your limits with her? How you can create an environment where you are your husband are not the "punching bags" for her angry spells?

What could you do to help her get counselling for BPD and her drug use?

My 24 year old son is addicted to cannabis. In moderate doses it seems to help him be calm. Unfortunately he doesn't stick with moderate doses so it makes him paranoid. Sigh. You did the right thing drawing the line.

My 16DD has similar symptoms when she uses marijuana, she thinks it calms her, but her outside behaviour is horrible. It triggers paranoia, false memories, rages and just overall irrational thinking and behaviour. During her last hospitalization, the psychiatrist warned me that it wouldn't be a good thing for her to be using marijuana because of her existing brain issues.

Is your daughter threatening to call the authorities on her husband or yours?

We have still not seen her completely return to "herself" and she still thinks cannabis is fine...the only reason she doesn't use is because she knows we will take legal action again if she does.


I think this is bethelove's daughter.

Yep, that's who I was trying to ask.