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Title: Black and white thinking Post by: Kayclan on June 04, 2019, 09:43:26 PM I was greeted this morning with " Don't speak to me today, don't say a word."
I have just read a few threads on black and white thinking and realised this is what's happening with S. There are mant times where S has gone from 1 to 10 in a matter of seconds. There seems to be no capability of seeing anything in between. It turns out a dog nearby kept S from sleeping. I am going to speak with these people today. I am on good terms with them. I agree the dog is annoying. It's sad. It cries all day, interspersed with barking. S was out of control...she's going to do this, she's going to do that, the dogs owners have to learn, on and on it went. She called them all sorts of names, without having met them ever. I'm concerned that she is going to do something outrageous, or shout at these people. I've not had any conversation with S today. I already got cut off by just saying "aha". Anyhow, it's not affecting me that much because she managed to say it wasn't anything to do with me. She's having a rest now and it's been kind of nice not having to talk and having some peace and quiet. I'm also on the verge of telling her she needs to start paying for some utilities. That is going to be in my time, not hers. Oh no, she's just woken up and is going to call the police re the dog. Aaaaagh! Title: Re: Black and white thinking Post by: Turkish on June 05, 2019, 10:22:37 PM Did she call the police?
That might be triggering to you given possible conflict with the neighbors, but she might not be the only one annoyed by it, and excessive barking might indeed be a code violation. Personally, I likely wouldn't call (and I have had neighbor dogs like this), but I'm hesitant to make waves and I can compartmentalize such things, to a degree. Title: Re: Black and white thinking Post by: Cat Familiar on June 07, 2019, 03:21:05 PM My husband has been bothered by dogs barking, but hey, we live in the country and there are predators that come out at night and dogs bark.
He even would get in his car and drive around the gravel roads looking for where the dogs lived, since noise direction can be deceptive. I kept telling him that at 2 a.m., he could get shot, driving down someone's driveway. Just. close. the. damn. windows. if you can't sleep. But of course, he would get angry and stew about the dogs. Currently we don't have any problem dogs nearby, but pwBPD just cannot seem to overcome the annoyance factor and get to sleep. Title: Re: Black and white thinking Post by: Kayclan on June 07, 2019, 05:13:22 PM Ok so she didn't call the police. I quickly sent a message to the people. No barking for 3 days. I managed to get some resemblance of normality back when I said to S "Don't worry, I have already sent a message. I'll help you to work this out". It was said looking in the eye and with gentle caring boldness. I even got a "Thanks".
For the second reply, that is so much like my experience, stewing, that is such a good description, thank you. |