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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting => Topic started by: Perdita on June 05, 2019, 03:23:48 AM



Title: Does your partner ignore you on social media?
Post by: Perdita on June 05, 2019, 03:23:48 AM
Mine always ignores anything I post on fb (which I very rarely do). I know he gets notified when I post something.  Also he always ignores comments from me on his posts. Never even as much as a like. Been like this for our entire 6+yrs together. My theory is that it's because he talks so much trash about me to certain people - like his ex gf and an old crush - that he feels he can't engage with me on fb out of fear of giving away that he lies about me. I believe he ignores to show that he is somehow in this r/s against his will.

All his posts are public which I have warned him many times to rather set to private due to his job. Yet he keeps it public and I know it's so his ex and crush can see his posts as they aren't on his friend list. Might seem like a minor thing but it's not nice to be ignored like this for all to see. I rarely even comment, like or post on his fb as a result.


Title: Re: Does your partner ignore you on social media?
Post by: Notwendy on June 07, 2019, 08:19:51 AM
Social media can be a playground for social dysfunction. It can also be a tool to maintain connections.

My use of social media is for the latter. I keep in touch with family and friends long distance. I don't post private information and nothing about relationships. We share new like graduations, weddings, births, favorite songs, funny things, interesting news articles.

My best advice is to not interact with your partner on social media. You see your partner face to face. People can use social media to present a persona. I don't know anyone who posts bad pictures of themselves and undesirable traits. IMHO, social media is where your partner can be the fantasy person. You don't need to be part of that.

I would be concerned though about any "unusual" interactions your partner might have with others that you feel are a violation of the boundaries of your relationship. Just having his ex or crush see something may be about his own ego but if it got to be more, you would want to address that.





Title: Re: Does your partner ignore you on social media?
Post by: Old Quaker on June 19, 2019, 11:41:13 AM
My partner spends a lot of time on facebook, but does not interact with my posts.

In the past I have always made a facebook post on her birthday, mothers day and our anniversary, which usually included an old photograph.  I would write something nice about the day, which included a gesture of love.  And I would share it on her page.

She has never once "liked" any of these posts, although her facebook friends have.

And she has never posted on my birthday, fathers day or our anniversary.

So, she spends a lot of time checking facebook each night when she comes home.  Spends about an hour on it while I'm cooking dinner.

But, we have no interaction on facebook...  And she has no pictures of me in her photos.  Has never posted anything with a photo of me.


Title: Re: Does your partner ignore you on social media?
Post by: once removed on June 19, 2019, 11:57:06 AM
have you ever asked him about it?


Title: Re: Does your partner ignore you on social media?
Post by: Perdita on June 20, 2019, 05:23:11 AM
I have asked him about it more than once and he always says that I imagine things.  I told him I am not imagining being ignored.  His reply is that Facebook isn't important, but he can't tell me why he then shares stuff on there about his life but never a mention about me.  We will do something together, go on an outings let's say and then he posts about him only and the other people that were with or posts about how he did this and that as though I wasn't there at all.  I am very private on social media and don't posts pics of myself, but certainly don't mind being acknowledged as the person he shares his life with.  He knows this but has never once mentioned me in all these years.