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I am truly at the end of my rope with my son. I no longer have any hope for him. He is now in a psychiatric ward of the hospital raging at me and my husband and repeatedly saying that as soon as he gets out he is going to blow his brains out in our backyard. He used to be such a loving person. Now there is nothing but anger and hate in him, particularly hate for us. It doesnt help that the supervising nurse in the medical wing ( where he was to detox from his cocaine overdose) was incredibly unprofessional and treated us like we were the problem. He told her we abused him all his life and she believed him. She repeatedly yelled at staff in front of us, lectured us about HIPPA laws while violating them, and showed no compassion or understanding whatsoever essentially making an already horrible situation worse. We are filing a complaint
The good news is now he is in psych we don't have to deal with this fool. The not so good news is I have basically lost hope for my son. I thought that he might come to his senses once the drugs were out of his system but he hasn't. He just keeps telling us about his suicide plans, designed to cause us as much pain as he can. How can I accept this and move forward?
 
 

Faith,

I will continue to pray for you & your family!

 
Stampingt1

Hi Faith,

I've been following along and want to send you some   


I think you already "accept" your son's mental illness, it isn't about accepting that is it?  It's about accepting that he could take his own life.  I hear you as a mom how could you accept that?  How could you let that go and move forward?  Really, hard questions and a really hard choice. This is something to think about, pray about, talk to your Therapist about, but this is not something that has to be figured out today, right now, when your family and son are in the middle of a crisis.  Right now just be present and focus on what is in front of you worry about the other stuff later.  Deciding to not to do anything is still a decision.

What's been going on with your son?  I know it's still early in the process and because your son is older I'm not sure how much information gets shared, but do they have a game plan?  Will your son be receiving DBT therapy?  I understand that the first order of business with DBT is getting the suicidal issues tackled first.

We are here for you and we are listening.
Panda39

Hi Faith,

I am so sorry for what you and your family are going through. I agree that unprofessional medical staff can definitely make a stressful situation worse, and I hope that things will be better with the psychiatric staff.

Your son is probably in a state of physical, mental, and emotional dysphoria. Getting the drugs out of the body is just the first step in detoxing; the withdrawal can last for days or weeks. Addicts in a state of withdrawal can act out in downright vicious ways, especially if the withdrawal was not by choice. Even when I was in rehab of my own volition, detoxing and recovering were some of the hardest things I ever had to do and there were times when I wanted to just give up because the discomfort was so intense and my emotions were swinging wildly. A person who is not mentally prepared for withdrawal will have a much more intensely dysphoric experience and will be more likely to act out viciously.

Hopefully the psychiatric staff can get him stabilized. Usually, if one is in a psychiatric hospital for drug addiction, the psychiatrist will prescribe some type of medication. For me, it was an antidepressant and mood stabilizer.

I will be praying for you, Faith. Have you been able to talk to anyone on the mental health care team for your son? Any background you can give them would likely be helpful, because he is not going to give them an accurate history.

 

Redeemed

Oh Faith...sending you much love.

I am so sorry for you and your pain. I know what it is like to be "hated" for doing the right thing.

When we sectioned our child and had her sent to rehab for 3 months she spied hate at us for the first 9 weeks. When she came home she was in wise mind, but soon thereafter she was back to the hate spewing.

It wasn't until she started going to DBT that she learnt to not act on those thoughts.

Is your son going to be able to stay in the hospital long enough to be willing to get help? Do they offer DBT?

Hello again FaithHopeLove

There sure isn't much I can add to those wonderful replies above...more affirmations that this is the place to be when the chips are down...and your chips are certainly down.

Good for you...putting your troubled thoughts into words  This is your safe place.  Keep it coming!  I can so remember at some of my most worst times just going into a corner and spewing off any swear word I could think of.  Yes, it helped some of the steam to escape.

((HUGS) to you, FaithHopeLove. 

Huat

Thanks, Panda. I have also been thinking that the best thing is to not look too far ahead and stay in the present. It is way too early in the process to talk about therapy. He still may be in drug withdrawal. I will keep you posted

Thanks, Redeemed. I am sure withdrawal is part of it.

Your son just be in a near-constant level of pain that is unbearable right now. I am so sorry. I agree that staying in the present/short-term is best; don't get ahead of yourself.

Sending all positive energy your way...Plus 

Knowing my son is in unbearable pain puts me in unbearable pain.

We feel your tremendous pain.  I am not sure how to get through it but you are onto something by trying to be mindful and staying present( easier said than done).  Take it one hour at a time, or even 15 minutes at a time.Are you able to do some small self care stuff?  Remember there are the 12 steps and what some call "the baby steps" of eating, showering, brushing teeth, etc. You are in crisis and trauma just like if someone were in an accident. Try to even coddle yourself if you can .

I got up, brushed my teeth, called the hospital, left a "checking in" message with the attending psychiatrist, packed my beach bag and you know the rest. Chillax. Today my son is safe, miserable no doubt, but physically safe so I get a beach day.

Wonderful- good self care!

    Sending prayers your way