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My god, this is so stressful.

My L got back to me and I took a look at the low budget she'd worked up with the financial analyst. I did let L know that the low budget was not on the table.

The house cost she determined is under $400K in an area that doesn't have houses that cost that. I'm in my mid-60s. Can the courts reasonably expect me to uproot myself from an area I've lived for 12 years, where my friends are, my support system, my doctors.

what i want to know is what in the hell is my STBX and STBX-FIL giving up?

God, I'm so worried.

TMD

Hi -

I feel your frustration.  I know in my case that I have begun to resign myself to the idea of giving up the neighborhood I live in, friends, the house, and other things that once made me happy.  Finances would dictate that - not necessarily a judge.  And the reality is, I have already given much of that up.  I haven't been able to spend time with friends or enjoy where I live in many years.

But I look at it this way - I am miserable now, and I would give all that up for a little peace and quiet.  I can be happy again, and have the things/relationships that I want again.  It will just be rough for awhile.  Yeah, I am only 42, and being in your 60s makes that much more frustrating.  Fight for what you can - but remember to not let them take the peace of mind away from you.  

Max

Downsize? Move to a small condo?  Just by yourself you won't need that much room!  No need to try to avoid anyone in the house. 

Since they ignored the interrogatories, is your lawyer considering requesting a Special Master (forensic accountant empowered by the court) to get a better idea of the marital assets?  No one will get the other side in trouble for noncompliance unless you force the matter and seek a solution, such as a Special Master or similar.

I don't know to what extent the divorce will force your ex to enable you to maintain your current lifestyle.  That's more of a legal and state matter.  It's clear the other side is not going to Gift you the information you require.  Weigh the costs... $$$ versus time continuing the case.

Thanks. I'll bring this up to her tomorrow. I know my L wants this to settle, but as I pointed out to her, this is my life and I need to make sure that I'll be okay financially for the next 30 years.
TMD

That's my world. I don't qualify for alimony and live in an expensive area. So just part of the pension and what I can earn to get me by day-to-day. Thus far I've had job interviews, but no full-time work.

The uncertainty makes it all a bit maddening. I do have some resources, but they won't last long-term. Things may be better in a year, but not guaranteed.

I'd refuse to settle until you have all of the information on the table. BTW, mine said that is perfectly justified and said to anticipate that under the circumstances.