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I'm curious to know if there is any link between BPD and amnesia. My partner (now fiancee) doesn't seem to recall any of the things she's said or done when in a mad rage and it has made me wonder if there is something to it.

That sounds really hard to deal with. I believe dissociation can be a symptom of BPD, so you might look that up.

I do not believe it to be amnesia, per se. But BPs do tend to rewrite the facts and their memories of events to fit their feelings about those events. Completely leaving out elements is less common, at least in my experience, but may be more common for others.

I don't know that there's an official link, per se, but I know my uBPDh is the same. He genuinely can't remember things he said or did when he was in a full-on melt-down. (Luckily, in my case, he believes me when I tell him what happened.)

My T told me that that's not uncommon in trauma victims. There's some overlap between BPD and PTSD (and my T thinks my H has that).

@Ozzie : My uBPDw operates the same way - except she doesn't believe a single thing (if I were fool enough at this point to try to tell her) I might say about what she'd done. Not 100% no-memory, but altered memories and missing pieces. And yes, linked to trauma is the same as well. I am genuinely glad for you that, at least, he believes what you tell him afterwards. We must give thanks for every tiny blessing.

when a person is emotionally dysregulated, or in a higher state of emotional arousal, they are less likely to form lasting or consistent memories of the event.

I have repeatedly experienced my uBPDw having a severe memory deficit issues. Usually when she is dysregulated and highly emotional she had difficulty remembering saying things.

It has been very difficult to resolve hurtful episodes when she claims they never occurred. I used to think she was just ashamed of her behavior and denied it by choice...now I am inclined to think BPD could be part of the explanation.

In my personal experience and lay opinion, I believe this is part fits the "stress related dissociative states" that have been used to diagnose BPD.

Has anyone else's spouse told them "I don't love you, I want a divorce" ! and then not remembered?

I found this abstract helpful when I was trying to understand my ex's seemingly 'selective' memory.  She would often not remember vitriolic messages she sent and then be genuinely surprised to re-read them.

"Pre-clinical investigations of emotion–episodic memory interactions have shown specific retrograde and anterograde episodic memory changes in response to emotional stimuli."

Enhanced emotion-induced amnesia in borderline personality disorder

So, this kind of thing is just what I was asking for insight about as well - but specifically how to deal with it in the moment.
If it's insightful - or you can provide insight - feel free to read my thread:
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=337064.msg13061303#new (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=337064.msg13061303#new)

Yep. More than once. My uBPDh is in a much better place now and I've filled him in on a lot of what he said and did while he was in his major dysregulation phase. He told me, "I believe I said that, but I can't believe I said that!" Basically, he believed me when I told him he'd said it, but he just couldn't understand why he would have. He most emphatically does NOT want a divorce. But it was one of his go-to phrases when he was upset.