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Title: Help with first "test" since beginning treatment Post by: Ray2017 on July 02, 2019, 12:19:15 PM I had posted last week that my husband has been inpatient and is now doing a residential program. The social worker called this morning and said that he's being discharged on Friday, which is great. He said that he wanted to have some people over when he gets home, so he feels welcomed and can be around people (understandable). The bad part is part of our core group is going to be away - a last minute trip, and they are not able (or willing, depending on how you look at it) to change their plans. I 100% get this - they shouldn't be beholden to anyone to change their plans. But the people in this group heading to their summer destination is already one of my husband's triggers, and it's literally going to happen in the first few minutes of him being home. I know I can't be controlled by his feelings, but I just don't want conflict in the first few moments. I'm also jumping the gun a bit - he doesn't know yet (I told the people to call him directly as one of my boundaries I've set is to not get in the middle), and he might be fine about it. My husband from 2 weeks ago would not be fine with it. I could use some tips/support on how to get through this if it's messy, or at least to quell some of my anxiety, if at all possible. Thanks in advance.
Title: Re: Help with first "test" since beginning treatment Post by: Harri on July 04, 2019, 05:19:55 PM Hi. I could have sworn I posted a response the other day. sorry, looks like it was eaten.
So will there be other people at the house to welcome him home? Have you thought about giving him a heads up about the group of friends not being there? Are you in the US? You could stress that with the short notice of his release and the holiday the day before, a lot of people already had plans or were away for the week. One thing I will say is that pwBPD can usually pick up on our emotions pretty easily so if you are feeling anxious, he will probably sense that. *Sometimes*, if we can stay calm and centered it can sort of lead the way. Easy for me to say right? |