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I left my partner today. I'm struggling a lot tonight. She was never diagnosed with BPD but I believe it fits her. Life was hard living with her, there were good parts too. I decided finally, after six years, I had to leave. But it's painful. I know she's in a lot of pain too, and that makes me feel guilty. I know if I go back to her, it would ease my pain, and hers, but we'd likely end up in the same pattern. Still, I'm really hurting and struggling, second guessing myself.

Hi crdnl and *welcome*

I'm sorry for the circumstances that brought you here but I am glad you have found us.

Leaving a BPD partner can be very tough, even if we know that it is the healthiest choice we can make for ourselves. Is there a particular incident that led to your decision?

I understand the second guessing. It's very hard to know if we are making the right choice sometimes, especially if we have been subjected to lots of blaming and criticizing.

I know how hard it is to struggle with the guilt, as well. It took months after going no contact with my ex before I was able to let go of the guilt. I felt responsible for his pain regarding the breakup, even though I knew that the relationship was not healthy or safe for me to continue. I found a good therapist who was able to help me explore where my guilt was coming from and help me to work through it.

Have you had a chance to look around and read some of the articles we have here? There is a lot of good information, and I think if you settle in, read and respond to others' posts here, you will find that you are not alone, and many of us have been or are still in a similar situation. We're here to support you, and we are listening.

Blessings and peace,

Redeemed

Since you are newly apart, I'm thinking it's likely that you will have some communication in the future. For that reason, I'm going to move your post to the Bettering board. There you will learn skills that can help keep things calm and will assist you in communicating with her.