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Title: Need advice please Post by: CaptainClumsy on July 20, 2019, 11:41:16 AM Hi,
I am looking for some advice. I'm in a long distance (only until Christmas) relationship with a guy who has BPD. He is amazing and I love him (so much that I'm moving 4000 miles to be with him). He has days when he is so low, he has self harmed and thinks about suicide. It is so hard being far away from him knowing he is struggling so much. I will be spending 2 weeks with him next month prior to my permanent move. He says it helps knowing he will have me there for support. I am so new to this though and desperately want to support him as much as I can. Amy advice would be so welcome. Thank you Title: Re: Need advice please Post by: Carguy on July 20, 2019, 02:18:54 PM Hi there! I'm rather new on this site myself but I have found tools on here that have been a great help!
My now ex BPD is seeing someone else but I learned as much as I could up to our parting and unfortunately I couldn't do anymore. I have found talking to a counselor on how to communicate with a borderline to be a great help with understanding them! I also found reading online about borderlines to help with my understanding. Another site that I found is called the Nicola method and she talks about how to communicate in high-conflict relationships. It gave me an idea of how to communicate better with her and speak to her with empathy and most importantly with affirmation. She frequently told me that her love language is words of affirmation and with all the reading I have done it's more than just the love language. Everything I have read says the borderlines need affirmation like people need water. I found it to be a very educational read. Even though I might have waited too long to learn this I did find the last few months before our parting that it really did help. I hope this helps you! |