BPDFamily.com

Mod note: This is a continuation of the following thread: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=337030.0

Ok so we had agreed to meet in a few weeks at an island in America in Maine to talk about things in our relationships. Her dad has messaged her saying I still owe him some money for a phone bill, even though it’s already on its way to him, and we had talked about it, and it’s a very touchy subject to her. So she sent me this last night:

I want to buy a house but I can’t because I relied on you when you said you would support me financially and you failed to do so and now I’m in debt and will be for a long time. You know why I trusted you? Because you were my husband. I don’t want anything to do with you anymore. I forget how much you’ve ruined my life and think it would be nice to see you. To be honest I’ve only cried over you one time since March. And it didn’t last more than 5 minutes. I was such a negative person with you and you always brought out the worst in me. I’ve been so happy on my own. I’m blocking you on everything and filing for divorce tomorrow. I’ll get your car towed, I don’t care anymore. But I can’t hold on to something that will never be repaired. Bye.

What do I do... she’s obviously painted me very black right now and her dad has touched a huge nerve...

At my wits end and can’t sleep after reading this...

So a quick update:
It turns out that her dad did speak to her last night and he told her she needs to be accountable for her credit card problems and debts and that he will pay some of them if she finds a plan to pay the rest off. He also said that he will not be a dad just to be there as an ATM for money whenever she needs it.

She obviously didn’t take this well which explains the message to me and she ended up blaming me for everything her dad said to me...

No idea what to do... guess just another waiting game?

if thats what you want to do.

is it?

To be honest it’s so tough... in the past when she’s said she wants divorce I’ve flown out to America to try and make things work and she always looked happy to see me. This time is the longest we have gone without seeing each other, almost five months now and I fear what her saidsaid tk her has triggered something and she is painting me black right now... she’s never blocked me from everything... that’s what worries me... I’m half tempted to fly out there and also tempted to send her an email explaining my feelings and the plan for our marriage if it’s going to work or maybe just to say I respect whatever she wants and her happiness is the most important thing to me but I want the marriage to work and if we can meet somewhere in between to discuss this then I think it’s a great idea... at least then she won’t feel abandoned... any thoughts on this?

i might give it some time.

i dont think responding to being blocked with trying to discuss a reconciliation will be well received. this is not a time to chase.


any idea if she followed through with this?

No idea if she did... I haven’t heard anything... but she’s been pretty much begging me to meet her for the past couple of months so I was hoping we could arrange something for a few weeks time and that’s what our previous conversation was about, then her dad again mentions money to her and her debts which he knows is a difficult subject for her to take and she could not handle the responsibility so it seems she has taken it out on me. I have no idea what to do... I kind of know if I go to America to see her and she saw me she would smile and be happy I’m there, but then after a while it would resort to the same stuff and she would ask why I’m there... so I’ve no idea what to do... don’t have any clue if she filed for divorce or had my car towed away...