BPDFamily.com

My BPD ex left in mid June, but today I am moving out of the apartment of shared with her. I made special care to find one with charm that she would like, and was so sure she would be happy there.  The first night there she showed me her darkness for the first time, and I spent the rest of the time gasping at straws, and searching for the woman I fell in love with. 

Packing has been bringing up a lot to the surface.  I keep finding her things. I chose to mail her grandpas photo to her as it it was her favorite photo of him, and when he died she carried it around with her. It hurts so much thinking about how much I loved her and how impossible it was to ever convince her of that...  How petty and cruel she became...

I had to block her number because she would send me text rants about how bad of a boyfriend I was, and make cruel comments referencing social media posts I had made.

Anyways, here is the song that fits what I'm going through the best.  I imagine some of you may relate to it. Thanks again for being here.

The Night We Met by Lord Huron

I am not the only traveler
Who has not repaid his debt
I've been searching for a trail to follow again
Take me back to the night we met
And then I can tell myself
What the hell I'm supposed to do
And then I can tell myself
Not to ride along with you
I had all and then most of you
Some and now none of you
Take me back to the night we met
I don't know what I'm supposed to do
Haunted by the ghost of you
Oh, take me back to the night we met
When the night was full of terrors
And your eyes were filled with tears
When you had not touched me yet
Oh, take me back to the night we met
I had all and then most of you
Some and now none of you
Take me back to the night we met
I don't know what I'm supposed to do
Haunted by the ghost of you
Take me back to the night we met

Oh this one hit me.. :`(

Thanks for sharing and have strength.

Thanks!  That song slays me!  I might learn to play it on guitar.  Sometimes finding a sad song that makes the tears flow can help with healing.

My song back in the day was "I can let go now" by Michael McDonald.  I would listen to it and cry and cry and cry.  That song slayed me, 

Mine is Better Man sung by Little Big Town.  There were also times when I listened to Tonight I'm Gonna Cry sung by Keith Urban - nothing about BPD there, but there are times when I had to just give myself permission to wallow in my misery and get it out of my system (aka grieving).