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Title: I am feeling extreme sadness Post by: Adult Daughter on August 02, 2019, 12:10:57 PM My mother of 33 years is trying to shut me out because I have feelings very sad feelings about situations involving us. She has alienated everyone in her family except for one of my brothers and I. Even though I know better, for some reason a part of me hoped I was an exception but if I can't agree with her or apologize for crying and something that she fabricated then I can't be in her life. It is so hard right now and I am deeply hurt. My spouse is comforting and my 2 little girls are the sweetest even though they don't and will never know the situation I am in, but it feels so lonely right now because my mother has rejected me and tried to cut me out. But I am unwilling to apologize and pretend that I am okay. All I know is that I can't go back to the way things were me keeping everything in and hiding my true feelings anymore. I need some advice on how to cope with this or maybe some direction on where to go from here.
Title: Re: I am feeling extreme sadness Post by: Woolspinner2000 on August 02, 2019, 12:43:27 PM Hi Adult Daughter! :hi: Welcome!
Thank you for joining our family and for sharing a bit of your story. My mom was an uBPD, so I can relate. Seems as if there is no easy way to walk through these places because the hurts and wounds run deep. Often we hit a place of knowing we need to protect ourselves from further hurt, yet the pain of that choice is quite hard, especially at first. May I ask if you have ever been in counseling (T or therapy as we call it here)? That has been probably the biggest help to me, having someone walk alongside of me to encourage me in what is 'normal' and healthy. When we grow up with a BPD, our view of normal and healthy has become skewed. You may find that you are experiencing a lot of Emotional Blackmail: Fear, Obligation and Guilt (FOG) (https://bpdfamily.com/content/emotional-blackmail-fear-obligation-and-guilt-fog), and that is so so common among those of us who have a pwBPD in our lives. What are you doing to be kind to yourself and care for yourself during this time? That's important! Wools Title: Re: I am feeling extreme sadness Post by: pursuingJoy on August 02, 2019, 07:57:47 PM Adult Daughter, welcome to this group. So sorry you're hurting. Can you share more about what led up to this point? Has it happened before?
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