BPDFamily.com

Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup => Topic started by: hopeful1073 on August 06, 2019, 09:11:34 PM



Title: Accusations Re: Time With Friends
Post by: hopeful1073 on August 06, 2019, 09:11:34 PM
My bpd partner regularly accuses me of being with another man when I spend time with one of my female friends. (I go to my friend's house about once or twice every other week and sometimes we will go to get pedicures.)  When he most recently accused me of lying about going to my friend's house, I remained calm and asked him questions about why he thought I was not there and was with someone else.  After several responses telling me that I never give him "proof" that that is where I am, he added in that he feels that way because I am not happy with him AND I do not give him proof, so there must be something I am not telling him.  I kept asking questions and trying to validate (it must be upsetting to think that I am actually doing something else), but he eventually shut down the conversation by telling me that i will never be honest and that he was going to do something else.

Any thoughts as to how I could have handled this better?  If I keep up with the questioning when this all comes up again (it will...), will it eventually lead to better results?  Or is the fact that he finally stopped the accusations (albeit with a dismissive statement about me not being honest) a good result and I should be happy with that?