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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup => Topic started by: How about the li on August 12, 2019, 09:12:18 PM



Title: Why does my wife lie about every little thing?
Post by: How about the li on August 12, 2019, 09:12:18 PM
Why does my wife lie about every little thing.


Title: Re: Why does my wife lie about every little thing?
Post by: Witz_End on August 13, 2019, 12:51:55 AM
I don't any one of us could say for sure.  Some people lie chronically because of upbringing, others because of disorders.  Usually there's something to be gotten out of it for them on some level.  The question is - is it lie or is it skewed perception?

But, could you give some examples?  When you say "every little thing", I take it to be pretty common... how common?  Also, is there a pattern to the types of things she will lie about and/or apparent motive for doing so?

It's not easy to feel you can't trust someone, especially a spouse.


Title: Re: Why does my wife lie about every little thing?
Post by: Enabler on August 13, 2019, 06:55:49 AM
Generally we all lie to avoid negative emotions or negative consequences. Healthy adults are able to tolerate higher levels of discomfort so they feel inclined to lie less and less and either make better choices leading to avoiding negative fallout, or they face up to the downside. I think you'd be surprised by how desensitised you have become to the smaller emotional vibrations... emotions that you W may be a lot more sensitive to.

My W is a compulsive liar as well, she lies about almost anything and sadly seems to believe her own lies. All lies tend to point towards making her appear better, more white... not responsible. I knew she could be a bit manipulative but it was only when I truly saw her in proverbial colour I realised everything was a huge deception and the extent to which she lies... she's excellent at it to the untrained eye.

Do you journal stuff? I highly recommend doing this, it's very good for maintaining your own personal truth. I found myself going a little stir-crazy.

Do you have any good examples.

Enabler


Title: Re: Why does my wife lie about every little thing?
Post by: MayorMcCheesey on August 13, 2019, 11:46:28 AM


My W is a compulsive liar as well, she lies about almost anything and sadly seems to believe her own lies. All lies tend to point towards making her appear better, more white... not responsible.



George Costanza said it best on Seinfeld...  "Jerry... it isn't a lie... if you believe it".