|
Title: What do I do now? Post by: scaredrobot on August 13, 2019, 02:53:32 PM I don't know what to do at this point. I'm used to the frequent drama, but it's escalating too far. My uBPDh has been disregulating and getting meaner and making threats. Most of the time he is a very sweet guy, but as soon as he's triggered, he is hateful and abusive. The smallest things trigger him, too.
So right now, he is unemployed because he took off work to throw a fit at me over not picking up the phone while I was in class. I knew it wasn't an emergency, so I texted him that I would call him back after class was over. Anyway, he threw a tantrum, called off work and got fired because he'd done that too many times. So he's extra prone to issues. Also, I just started school, and my schedule is drastically changing. This of course makes *his* life more stressful. So last Friday, we're at home in our back yard. The neighbor comes out and S4 starts playing with him. I'm amused by this. H decides that means I'm flirting with neighbor. Huge blow-up ensues after we go inside. H continues into the next day and it escalates to him making threats and attacks. There's more detail but I don't have time at the moment to write it all out. Things calm down, and we're ok for a few days. Then this morning, after I drop off S4 at school, I go to a doctor appointment. Before heading back, I linger in the parking lot for 5-10 minutes because I had a thought to look something up on my car manual. Once I get to work, I get a call from H asking what I've been up to (he was tracking my phone). I tell him what I was doing. He says it doesn't add up, insinuating that I'm cheating on him. I stick to my true story, and he totally blows up. He tells me to meet him at the courthouse at 3 to file for divorce. I say ok. By about 1:30, he calls again asking about what time he can pick up S4. He never does pick-up, so I know this is basically a threat. The discussion escalates further, and I decide that I can't take the risk of playing along. Usually he's full of empty threats, but I don't know when it won't be. Anyway, now I have my kid, my phone is off so H doesn't know where I am, I'm in a safe place for now but can't stay all night, and I don't know what to do next. :help: Title: Re: What do I do now? Post by: Cat Familiar on August 13, 2019, 04:47:18 PM Are you concerned about violence? You say he’s been making threats. What has he been saying?
And his paranoia is escalating in that he’s monitoring your whereabouts constantly? Do you know of a shelter locally? It might be good to do some research about this. Also how about friends and family you could stay with? Tell us more when you’re able. Cat Title: Re: What do I do now? Post by: scaredrobot on August 14, 2019, 05:45:37 AM There has been violence, so yes I am concerned about that. He wasn’t threatening that, but he was threatening to break my computer, damage or take other valuables.
I found a place to stay last night, but I made the mistake of contacting him. He tried to get me to come home, but I refused. He said if I didn’t come home right away last night I wouldn’t be allowed back in the house today. It is my house. I wasn’t planning this when I left the house yesterday morning, so I have no clothes for myself or S. I feel awful for this whole situation, and I’m not sure what I’m doing is right or how far to take it (restraining order?) Title: Re: What do I do now? Post by: Circle on August 15, 2019, 11:01:30 PM S.R.,
Maybe you can get the police to advise you? Perhaps they can escort you into the house and him out of it? Talking to them may be useful. You could call, or go to the station I guess. Title: Re: What do I do now? Post by: Cat Familiar on August 16, 2019, 11:24:30 AM How are you doing today? Have you been able to return to the house? :hug: :hug:
Title: Re: What do I do now? Post by: formflier on August 16, 2019, 04:42:39 PM I'm very new to your story so I'll have to say that priority 1 is your safety. How often do you need to leave the house to be safe? How does he normally react and how does it resolve to where you feel safe again. Best, FF Title: Re: What do I do now? Post by: AskingWhy on August 16, 2019, 10:30:25 PM Robot, you must consider the fact you are the target of domestic violence.
DV is not simply throwing a punch at someone. Abuse can be manifest in other, psychological ways. I can post a link on DV if you are interested. NOTE: If you H is tracking you, then he might be tracking your online browsing. Also, consider taking the MOSDAIC inventory on domestic violence. It's free, anonymous and might be revealing. https://www.mosaicmethod.com/ |