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Start looking now for therapists that accept medicaid and suggest he apply for it...said that wrong, suggest he start looking now and apply for medicaid.  My DD20 is applying for medicaid and has options for therapists who accept it.  This is ok with me, because it's a part of the process my DD20 is in to take responsibility for and put together a life of her own that is not dependent on me.  I am strongly encouraging it.  I do "choose" to give to her when I do, but she never knows when to expect that or what to expect, because whatever I do is a gift, which is how it should be after they have achieved adult age.  It was hard for her and me when I started this...because she expected me to handle all of her needs and wants indefinitely, and when I found myself resentful of her entitlement, I had to change it...and along the way, I came to peace with the language of her taking responsibility for herself and her life, and becoming a productive member of society.
To be very clear, this is no longer a response just to Normlee's questions, but a description of our situation, which covers all aspects of my daughter's life and needs. There is a bottom line to my finances, and we get to it pretty quickly around here, because I do not earn what I used to before my accident and subsequent injury...but it's still the same concept, which is, as parents, we teach them to fish at some point...not keep handing them fish...mental illness or not, the same must still apply.

My best friend is a bipolar who owns a small business and earns more than 2million a year.  She see's her doctor weekly, and manages her own medications and yes, she has "events" that lead to hospitalization...and she has enlisted several close friends who keep an eye on her and tell her when she is "off" which isn't all the time, but it happens. Things can and do get a little hairy during these events, but we all manage and she is off emails and customer phone calls during that time, and her well paid employees handle the business until she returns.  She has it set up somewhat that way to begin with, her managing from the background so that when things go south, nothing really changes for anyone too much.

I cant see a lifetime of living miserable with a raging anything in the background all the time.  We are proactive over here...and stepping out, trusting God, etc.

Sorry, I seem to have hijacked your thread Normlee.  I think my point is, to you and all, that if your son really likes this therapy, there might be ways out there for him to get it other than you or him paying full price for it.  I would have to search that out so that if needed, he can continue with it.

The FOG is excruciatingly painful and present and sometimes overwhelming. It's something I struggle with  A LOT. I was encouraging my son so much to find ways to support their mental health struggles - even looking up therapists, calling therapists on their behalf, attending "family therapy" sessions. And this year has been so painful.

Endless groups, endless meetings, no work, minimal movement. They said a year ago they wanted to work on their mental health.

I even offered to pay for private sessions out of pocket. They went to 1 appointment and did not follow up on any of the suggestions the therapist made or the homework they were tasked with. That is what started the huge fight last week that led me to calling the police.

So this is where I have to truly step back. I cannot motivate my son to work on their mental health. I cannot be responsible or feel guilt about their choices. I have to deal with the shame, frustration, and anger. It feels like they keep throwing up barriers to move themselves through and get going. And I don't know why. And I'm not paying for anything right now. I was paying all the living expenses and therapy on top of that.

I hope that it's okay for me to post this here. If not please let me know.

It's OK to post here but let's try to stick with the subject at hand which is LOTR's concerns. Feel free to start your own thread if you want to talk about your concerns. That way everyone has a chance to be heard. Makes sense?

Ok thank you. I wasn't sure what this was. Reading back I see that now. Not my intention to hijack or anything

Carry on and nevermind! I will continue to read!