|
Title: Do bpd's feel shame? Post by: Clz on September 02, 2019, 05:14:37 PM I was dealing with one who was very spiteful and impulsive... i was wondering if they feel remorse or any guilt for there actions.
Title: Re: Do bpd's feel shame? Post by: LoveOnTheRocks on September 02, 2019, 08:25:38 PM My DD20 hasn't particularly expressed a lot of shame, but she has expressed an understanding that she is and has been extremely difficult and complicated and has caused a lot of trouble. She didn't act remorseful when speaking about it, but does "see it." She has also changed quite a bit upon seeing this in and about herself. I don't see a dramatic show and presenting oneself prostrate before another, and doubt I will, but she expresses emotions well enough to demonstrate to me that she "sees" herself in what has been, and clearly feels "bad enough" about it to want to make obvious and good changes. I am thrilled as it was not there at all for 20 years, literally, then it was...
Title: Re: Do bpd's feel shame? Post by: JadedEmpath on September 02, 2019, 09:26:22 PM My SO has BPD and he experiences a lot of shame. Shame and hatred for himself (+anxiety) are what drive a lot of his symptoms. He has expressed to me that it makes it harder for him at times to stop himself from self destructive behavior even when he is able to see it for what it is, because he then has the additional shame and guilt of having hurt me in the process, and hed rather feel anger or do something impulsive than to face the shame and guild head-on.
Title: Re: Do bpd's feel shame? Post by: expatblue on September 02, 2019, 10:47:59 PM I think they feel unbearable shame and guilt to the extent they will go to extremes to block the feelings... one reason why they hate to talk about their past actions, rages and damages caused, they would rather forget which makes using those events as a learning experience so difficult...
Title: Re: Do bpd's feel shame? Post by: once removed on September 03, 2019, 04:59:04 PM shame is really at the core of BPD.
but its part of an underlying belief system, and shame is the underlying belief that one is fundamentally "bad". this is different than guilt or remorse for specific actions. what happened? what are you wondering if she feels remorse or guilt over? |