BPDFamily.com

...and I can't take it anymore. After a childhood of physical, mental and sexual abuse from my parents and sister, as well as them not protecting me from others who were doing the same, you'd think you could finally grow up and move out. Not if my mother could help it. She did everything possible to hold me back in life and try to keep me from succeeding. Now she has everyone refusing to speak to me. More to come.

Hi and welcome.  I am glad you found us and are reaching out for support.  You are not alone as many of us have struggled with similar issues.  As painful as you situation is, you  can improve things for yourself and we can help you with that.

Other than here, do you have a source of support in your life?

Can you tell us more about your situation?  What happened that no one is speaking to you?

I look forward to reading the more you said is coming.  :)  In the meantime, settle in, read and check out the tacked topics at the top of the board.  Also, jump in and post.  We are a pretty open group here.  :)

Hi Ghost Peppers,

Wanted to join Harri and welcome you to the group  :hi:

It sounds like you have a lot going on, but you've found a nice place to land here.  Everyone here has someone with BPD/BPD Traits in their lives we "get it".  

I hope you will share more of your story when you have the chance.  What do you think is the biggest issue you struggle with when it comes to your mom?

Hang in there,  :hug:
Panda39

Hi Ghost Peppers,

I have a similar situation. In my case, I believe my BPD parent is one part of my dysfunctional extended family unit.  I was bullied by family members - some adults and some were kids - as a child/teen. These episodes came out of the blue. I was dumbfounded by them. When I stood up for myself since my parents would not, my parents punished me. My bpd parent told me that I must have been doing something bad for them to bully me in the first place when I asked why they did not defend me.

I went NC with all relatives at age 18 to build my own positive life. In the years, I went back to LC with my parents and siblings. I have remained basically NC with other relatives. 

Life has not gone well for a lot of the kids, now adults, who bullied me. I'm sad at the poor choices they have made and continue to make. It effects their own children in negative ways.

OMG Ghost Peppers same. I'm sorry this happened to you. I can't believe though someone else is dealing with this. I hope you share more here as I found this place years ago and it really helped me put things in perspective since sometimes the patterns of abuse are so similar.

TelHill life is going great for all the people who bullied me in my family. They are all rich with people and money. I have nothing. Its doesn't always work out like that in life. Lots of successful people are cruel.

Exactly, intelligence is separate from personality/character...plus they had nothing to lose when they targeted you. Most likely if you were targeted by such people you were seen as some kind of threat. They seem to take pleasure in causing misfortune or bringing down others. There is something spiritually not right with these people.

My relatives range from middle class to rich.Most aren't doing well emotionally. Drug and alcohol addictions, multiple arrests, taking advantage of their kinder siblings, resisting arrest by attacking a cop, not showing up for felony court dates,  overspending, cheating on spouses, flunking out of school, bragging about their things/show offs,  on and on...

My bpd parent thinks these people are great while I who have never done any of the above am the worst adult child ever. 

My own opinion of myself is what matters. Smear and slander does hurt but I look at the dysfunctional audience spewing it out and believing it. Not my kind of people.

TellHill  I'm sorry you've dealt with that too. Yeah I guess mine are the same middle class to rich and act bad in their life. They brag a lot, have cheated, have alcohol problems but I guess I see them as having great lives still. They have family and lots of friends, ties to the community, children. I have nothing.
I was so used to taking abuse it destroyed me.  I can say I've been a kind and good person for the most part but I don't know if that really counts for much at this point. Its prob. from my BPD Mom always telling me as a kid what to say and not letting me talk and telling me to put all of my concern in others and not care about myself. She loves to tell children to "be nice" even though she is a monster half the time.
I really wouldn't mind at this point being a person with problems and having a life.
I agree maybe I can remember they are not perfect and so I guess I should feel better when they are hating on me.