BPDFamily.com

I just thought of this.  Our spouse whom we love and stand by through all the chaos.  Who we share (or some of us try to share) complete intimacy.  Do you feel like you are lying to them if they don't know they have BPD by using these tactics to communicate effectively with them?  By looking at there "inner child" when you are talking to them?  Do you feel you are being deceitful to them?

Just curious what your thoughts are on this?

Thanks,
SH4

i get what you mean. heres how i look at it.

im not in a position to diagnose anyone. if i were to tell my partner "i think you have bpd", its a suspicion, at best an educated guess. its also a judgment...and id have to look at my motivations for telling them such a thing, even if i mean well.

surely i dont share every thought or judgment i make toward a romantic partner.


what is taught here are basic relationship skills. they work with everyone. i use them with everyone in my life, i use them here when i respond to others. the goal should not be to manipulate a person with them; anyone will see through that.


this means to empathize. to look at them without judgment. to understand where theyre coming from.

a loose analogy might be the old "if you have stage fright imagine your audience naked" trick.

both are about looking at someone as a human being, rather than a threat or an enemy.

does that make sense?

Thank you Once Removed!  Yes this does make sense.  I really appreciate everyone's insight to help me see things differently.

SH4