BPDFamily.com

I had massive issues with my bpd spouse before.  In the two months that he has been on SSRIs, things are oddly worse.   The swings are less frequent, the outbursts less violent, much more calm and even...however...he now is even more sure than ever that there isn't anything wrong with/for him, besides me.  Never was.  Wants a divorce asap and isn't sad, angry, nothin. 
It's almost like no matter what happens he stays some new kind of odd blank positive.  I wonder if this is more reactive "black" type thoughts going on, but stifled/masked and therefore growing? ?    Has anyone seen/experienced this with their bpd?  ?
I should add that he is not in any therapy or being observed during this either.  He just got meds and then meds increased by a family doc. 
He used to seem sometimes genuinely sorry, very believably sad, want help, understanding after his damaging choices.  Evermoreso, and especially on the ssri, he acts like none of that happened or outright says it was all just him going along with "this bpd story you made up". 
Seems like he is either being very deliberately cold and typical hurt them first/more (but without any show of emotion) OR has really been scary evil and faking bpd all the while and let the cat out of the bag while on meds, like drunk truth.   

Are you able to reach out to doctor to discuss?

Found a drug knowledge base on the site for very high level stuff can give points of reference for discussion.

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=141634

Several facets of BPD make it tremendously difficult for pwBPD to understand their responsibility for their destructive behavior, and make it likely that they'll blame things on others.  There are tremendously powerful forces at work here.  Even if they get meds, do DBT, etc., their distorted perceptions of past events may remain in place.  If we are expecting them to "see the light" we're very likely to be disappointed.

It sounds like things got pretty out of control.  Can you tell us more about it?  How long have you been together?

RC

Hi Joro,

I can relate to what you are saying. My BPDh has been on medication for about a year, and there was a time in therapy recently where he acted like I was exaggerating or making up things about his past behavior--particularly his delusions and borderline psychotic behavior. Last year I made a long list of all this lies and all the things that happened. Other people thought I was being obsessive by doing this, but it was very important to me to have a list that I could use for reality checking.

My therapist is always helpful at directing us back to the feelings so we stop arguing over the facts of events (accepting that memories change and everyone's memory of the same event can be different). It's so validing to have someone else say, "But BPDh, you DID frighten LR. You HAVE done things that hurt her."


I remember having this thought in the past. Like he was some evil mastermind purposefully trying to manipulate me to some awful end. But the reality was that while he was manipulative, he was also spinning wildly out of control.

I hope if your BPDh won't do therapy at this point, that you might consider it for yourself. A combination of medications and psychotherapy is the best way to treat most MH disorders, in my understanding. Your husband might be feeling more stable and less out of control right now, so it might be easy for him to dismiss past behaviors. (Or even protective of his ego to forget that it happened.)